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June 29, 2005

BMN: No One Film is Perfect

Six percent. Wait. Six percent!?! A movie actually sucks so bad that its rating on Rotten Tomatoes is six percent!?! That has to be a mistake, right? Over 300 movies grace a screen each year and they all have to be somewhat decent… don’t they?

Sadly, the answer is no.

Count it up folks, 96 reviews have been turned in (at the time of writing this) and a total of six reviews were positive. Six good reviews. Six percent. SIX!

I couldn’t believe the hype (and by hype I mean lack of) for this film. So Scoot, Nik and I decided to head down to the local mega-plex to see what all the fuss was about. Next time I think we’ll believe it when 94% of the reviewing populous didn’t like the film. Good Lord.

The premise of “The Perfect Man” is pretty simple:

Single mom with two kids constantly uproots family because she dates losers. Family lands in NY, oldest daughter gets idea to trick mom into believing there’s a perfect man who likes her. Hilarity ensues.

This movie was far from funny, the dialogue was complete trash and the moral of the story was beyond Hollywood – I’m surprised everyone involved with this movie didn’t lose their SAG cards.

For the two love stories that were going on, there were a lot of complex emotions that those involved had to go through. Here’s the kicker, everyone in the movie was super intelligent and could psychoanalyze the crap out of anyone but themselves. That is, unless they were IMing, which seemed to solve everything… I guess it just helps to spell it out, right in front of your face.

The “perfect” guy (Chris Noth) knew everything about women, but had no girlfriend. The mom (Heather Locklear, who still looks damn good), who dates absolute losers, knows a good kid for her daughter when she sees one. And the whiney-ass daughter (Hilary Duff, I so want her to succeed more than Lohan), knows exactly what’s wrong with her mother, but can’t see past her own insecurities.

Bah, I don’t even know where to go from here!

The movie had the token-gay man, Carson Kressley, who does the stereotypical gay jokes.

Then there was Duff’s best friend who disappears in the final third of the movie.

Tons of lame one-liners.

A lousy twist.

And the moral of the story (SPOILER WARNING), if you don’t move away from your problems you’ll win a cake-decorating contest, date the “cool, comic-book artist, but dork because he has no friends” guy, win a spelling bee AND land a date with the “perfect” man.

That’s the “perfect” formula for a movie.

I think we agreed to market some paper bags with eye holes cut out (for vision) that say Bad Movie Night on them. So the next time we wander into a movie like that, no one can see who we are.

Posted by Seth at 04:20 PM | Comments (4)

June 28, 2005

New Socks

There’s something that I don’t do quite often enough. Buy new underwear and socks. There’s nothing quite like putting on a brand new pair of socks, is there? Just the right amount of stretch in the elastic, the right amount of snug in the toe, not yet too thin on the heel… mmmmm, new socks.

And welcome to SethGunderson.com, my pair of new socks. I’m really diggin’ it, for now… the web changes way too fast to fully appreciate what you’ve done. Why I’m already thinking about what the next design will look like. And so it goes.

But this site is new and improved-on from the last version. Here’s how…

Bye-Bye Blogger
I’m not using Blogger anymore for this site. Nope. I’ve graduated to the bigger, better, and still just-as-free, Movable Type (henceforth referred to as MT). It’s a very powerful, and popular, blogging tool. Very customizable (with plugins, see below) and very clean – and oh how I like clean.

Setting up the site was a breeze, since I didn’t really have to install MT… Kevin did that for me… and a whole lot more. In fact, this site wouldn’t be half of what it is without his help. THANKS KEVIN!!! If you ever need some great programming work done, hit up Kevin (you’ll have to email me, and I’ll get you in touch with him), he’s the best I’ve ever worked with… honestly.

So MT is a great program for blogging, but what makes it really great is that it’s open-source… which gives anyone, with know-how, the ability to customize it. And since there are a ton of MT freaks out there, there’s a HUGE plugin directory, just ready to be browsed over. The plugins I’ve chosen to use (and by use, I mean “might” use) on this site are:

More RSS For Your Buck
Now you can subscribe to my site via three different ways:

Categorize This!
Now all of my posts are in categories! Use the drop-down in the right-hand column to see all the posts associated to a certain category. Pretty freakin’ nifty.

And So Much More…
Too much, in fact, to go through it here and now. The site isn’t in it’s finalized state, but it’s in super-beta mode. So if you see any errors, leave a comment or contact me. I’ll get it addressed and fixed as soon as I can. Hope you like it. I do.

Posted by Seth at 05:02 PM | Comments (3)

How To Prepare Your Podcast RSS for iTunes

I know, I know. I said I wasn't going to post on here anymore. But I really wanted to get this post up because it's an important one. I just updated the RSS feed for American Copywriter – in hopes that it will update our iTunes page for us – and it was a small, and sort of tedious, process. For those of you who want to get your podcast into iTunes (because it now supports podcasts), then here's how you do it.

First Step is to get your RSS feed all prepared for iTunes. In addition to all of the tags that you should be using (see RSS 2.0 specs), Apple has introduced many iTunes-specific tags to help populate their podcasting directory. Why they couldn't just leverage the standard RSS tags is beyond me. You can either follow all the super detailed specs from this pdf, or just take notes about the new tags below.

Channel-specific tags:

Item-specific tags:

That's about all there is to it. In the RSS for American Copywriter (please don't subscribe to that, it's our Feedburner xml file), you can see how I separated the iTunes tags from everything else. Not that you have to do that, it was just easier to read and cleaner that way.

Second Step, go into the iTunes Publish a Podcast Screen and submit your RSS feed.

That should about do it. Good luck.

Posted by Seth at 03:33 PM | Comments (2)

June 23, 2005

Closin' Up Shoppe

It's time for me to stop writing... for a while, and start on getting sethgunderson.com up and going. So that's just what I'm going to do. This site will still be here for another year, to make sure that URL-forwarding is properly in place, but I'll soon re-open the doors on the new domain.

I'll still be writing in/on my other blog areas, so if you're just dying to read the adventures of Seth, you might get a glimpse of them at the following places:

Catch you on the flip side, flipper.

Posted by Seth at 09:25 AM | Comments (0)

June 21, 2005

Vicky Vail, Need Not Apply

Goodness gracious. Something just bumped "Spider-Man 2" from the number two spot on my favorite comic-book film adaptations.

Scoot, Nik and I decided to forego Bad Movie Night this week and decided to go see something ranked a bit differently on RottenTomatoes.com. The movie of choice, "Batman Begins." From the opening credits (nice new DC intro, by the way) to the very end, I was enthralled. I think I rolled my eyes once at a goofy line and counted maybe two unnecessary James Bond lines. Other than that, this movie rocked.

The villains were great and were perfect for this storyline – which if you don't know, goes back into Batman's, well, beginning. We get to see Bruce Wayne's parents, who they are and how they die (please don't think it's the exact same as the 1989 "Batman," because it's not). The interesting thing here is that while Bruce's father is only on-screen maybe five minutes of the entire movie, you get the instant connection between him and Bruce.

Christopher Nolan ("Memento," anyone?) did such a great job with this film. It's not nearly as dark and dirty as the four previous Batman films, plus it's not over-the-top corny. Nolan brought the entire story down to a very believable level. While you don't understand why the bad guys think like they do, it's not a stretch and they don't dress up in goofy costumes or have tons of dressed up thugs. Everything felt like it could be real.

While I appreciated Tim Burton's vision of Gotham city and the first two Batman films (one with the REAL Catwoman), "Batman Begins" is a great fresh start for the franchise and I'm excited to see where it will go.

Unfortunately, this movie didn't do nearly as well as expected. Sure it made $72M+ from Wednesday to Sunday, the previous record holder for a Batman film was 1995's "Batman Forever," with $66M. Ouch.

We also saw the movie in one of Cinemark's VIP rooms. If you have one of those close, go check it out, it's completely worth the extra $2 for a ticket – leather recliners, 40 people capacity, a wait-staff, and no teenagers blabbing.

Oh yeah, and if you wondered what my #1 comic-book film adaptation is... "X2: X-Men United," silly.

Posted by Seth at 10:10 AM | Comments (2)

June 19, 2005

Yeah, I Don't Know Why I Wrote This

I was raised in tha ocean, by my moms and pops
With a hundred thousand siblings, we pulled out all tha stops

I dropped outta high school, that place a fuckin' joke
And swam with the starfish, them bitches, they was broke

And now I'm on the stage, I'm comin' to ya loud
My jams are legendary, they reach up to the ground

The 20,000 leagues can't contain me
'Cause I'm the cutest fish in the sea

I'm the cutest fish in the sea, motha fucka
I'm the cutest fish in the sea
I'm the cutest fish in the sea, motha fucka
You wanna try and front, then I'll filet thee

My name isn't Nemo, I'm scarier than Jaws
That little tuna Ariel, she eats food from my paws

Limpet is an idiot, Flipper is a tool
The girl fish from A Sharks' Tale, she makes the boy fish drool

I one time punched out Aquaman, for callin' me a 'Ray
And then I stole his uniform, and sold it on eBay

Now I'm about to be, in lots of movies
'Cause I'm the cutest fish in the sea

I'm the cutest fish in the sea, motha fucka
I'm the cutest fish in the sea
I'm the cutest fish in the sea, motha fucka
You best get off my nuts, I know taxidermy

I'm the cutest fish in the sea

Posted by Seth at 10:06 PM | Comments (0)

June 16, 2005

Now THIS is News!

Make sure you go check out the NEW PT Cruiser over on CNN.com. It's pretty newsworthy – you can tell because it's on the front page. Front page = newsworthy. CNN = credible at all times. Didn't you know that?

So local news can't report anything but fires, wrecks, gun-shooters, and knife-stabbers. CNN can only report cool things, from time to time (Note: the PT Cruiser isn't one of them, but beer drinking bears is).

Is it a wonder that I am addicted to the RSS feeds of so many sites that AREN'T news stations?

Posted by Seth at 02:32 PM | Comments (1)

June 15, 2005

No Vocaine

Last Saturday I found something in my mouth that caused me instantaneous grief. A cavity. What!?! Are you kidding me? I go to the damn dentist every four months now (due to the way that plaque builds up on my teeth – some people are like that, GOMN), I shouldn't have a cavity. I had x-rays done last time I was in and there were no "worry spots." I haven't eaten tons of candy lately, nor do I just leave candy in my mouth for weeks at a time. Regardless, I brush my teeth twice a day, once with the Oral-B ProfessionalCare 5000 Series (which is better than the 900 series, but not as good as the 7000 series... did they leave out a few series in there?).

So today I went for my regularly scheduled cleaning appointment and hoped they could fix this nasty cavity in my mouth. They couldn't.

It turns out it wasn't even a cavity, but a silver filling that's been in my mouth for years. It was on one of my rear (12-year) molars and I've never noticed it – good thing I know myself like I know the back of my hand (though others may know the back of my hand better, I'm a notorious bitch-slapper). The crazy thing is that it's good that I noticed it when I did... the filling was starting to deteriorate, so they pumped my mouth full of Novocaine, drilled out the old silver filling, and replaced it with a newer teeth-colored one. Yay.

Experiences like this at my current dentist are great. I honestly feel like when I leave there, that I know as much as the dentist does about a particular subject. I've also never been to a dentist that is kinder and gentler and honestly seems to care about me and my life.

I should know, I've been through orthodont-hell during my life – braces for two years, retainer for one, some weird jaw contraption for another year, braces for another two. And the dentist/orthodontist that worked on me all those years... weirdo. This is the kind of guy that tries to stick his whole arm in your mouth. When he is cleaning your teeth, he might as well be punching off the plaque with a sledge hammer. And I swear, if he needed leverage, he'd be standing on your chair with his knee jamming into your chest. Can we get out of the dark ages already?

The worst part was that he still felt the urge to tease me and tickle me... WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE. Can we get a restraining order already?

Posted by Seth at 02:17 PM | Comments (0)

June 09, 2005

I've Covered Parking Already

Moving from Fayetteville, Arkansas, to Kansas City was an adjustment... especially in the driving department. I went from ONE major highway to FOUR. I don't think it would've been as big of a deal if I lived down South, but I moved downtown, where highway driving is pretty freakin' crazy. There are more exits on the North end of the Downtown Loop than there are in Fayetteville... and that's just a four mile stretch, if that.

I wish that we could actually give people cards when they suck at driving (like the Please Park Better Cards), but that's not happening any time real soon. Instead, I suppose I could list the stupid things that drivers do (in the city or on the highway) that really piss me off.

Don't Stop On the On-Ramp
Yes, driving on the Downtown Loop is crazy. And yes, some of those drivers are hauling ass. But you CAN'T STOP ON THE ON-RAMP. It's called merging, and surprisingly, even though you may give someone a little road rage when trying to get onto the highway, they understand and will let you in. While you're stopped on the on-ramp, afraid of causing a wreck on the highway, you're close to causing a wreck behind you.

Stop Passing Me Over and Over, I Have Cruise Control
Don't give me that look of disgust when you've passed me for the third time. YOU'RE the one that has trouble maintaining a certain speed. You see, I have my car on cruise control – I've been going the same speed for the past two hours.

Where Do You Think My Lane is Supposed to Go?
This is primarily a downtown Kansas City exclusive condition. You pull up to a stop sign or stop light and there are three lanes: one left-turn only and two straight lanes. If you're in the right-most lane and you go straight (because you can't turn right), you have to merge left because SURPRISE, your lane is gone. So what's the problem? People sometimes corner you into these lane-less lanes and you have to wait for 10 cars to drive by.

Pull Up Just a Little More
When you're in the right-turn lane at a stop light, pull your car up enough so that a car that is actually going to turn right can do so.

Look Ahead and Plan Better
The next time I'm driving down Southwest Trafficway and you try to pass me by using the right-lane, why don't you make sure there's no one parked there. I'm not going to let you in, dummy.

Drive Faster Already
The traffic lights downtown suck enough as it is. Don't waste time by going slowly over the 2,000 metal slabs on the streets. It's a car, people, and those things won't pop your tires... nor will they slide out from under you, causing your car to fall in a hole.


Geez... I sound like a maniac. Kansas City driving has changed me.

Posted by Seth at 02:15 PM | Comments (2)

June 08, 2005

Bad Movie Night: Monster-in-Law

How clever! Instead of calling the movie "Mother-in-Law," they used the word "Monster" instead! Get it? She's a monster! Isn't that how all spouses feel about their in-laws? Genius.

Riiiiiiiiight.

As soon as the opening credits rolled, I was chuckling to myself. I knew this was going to be a stinker. The movie started off slowly – it took nearly 20 minutes to get past the story set up and into the full conflict. For a movie like this, the audience doesn't need a build-up... bring on the funny.

Oddly, the film had it's moments. I actually found myself laughing out loud due to a joke, not due to how horrible it was (although I did that a few times, too). The best thing about this movie was the Monster's assistant, played by Wanda Sykes. The role was almost too sweet for Sykes. She could really use a more open role to go nuts with. A lot of her one-liners were shot with only her in the scene, which makes me think that they went back and filmed her saying those lines so they could add them in later. The film needed it.

The first big no-no this movie did was cast Jennifer Lopez. She can be the sweet, innocent girl that the role called for, but she didn't have the edge that was necessary for combating with Jane Fonda. Also, this was the first movie I've seen that really exposes J-Lo's large booty. In fact, there were several scenes where Nik and I thought she would sue New Line Cinema because they left them in the movie.

I knew this movie would be over the top silly, and it was. Fonda, while looking a bit aged and tattered, did a pretty decent job in her cruelty.

For as bad as I thought this film was, it was better than the 17% rating it's getting at Rotten Tomatoes. It's not a film that I wanted to see (I actually dreaded seeing it), but it marketed itself to the demographic it was going after. The girls in the audience laughed at all the right spots and picked up on when it was making fun of other love stories (Jerry Maguire's you complete me). And for a movie that somehow cost $40M to make, they've made $71M at the box-office so far... not too bad.

So the movie wasn't THAT bad, but it was still painful. And honestly, if you knock someone out into a bowl of tripe and leave them there over night, they're going to drown.

Posted by Seth at 09:28 AM | Comments (0)

June 06, 2005

Five-of-Five

Five lists of five things.

Five of my favorite smells:

  1. The Folger's building in downtown Kansas City
  2. When a cigarette is first lit
  3. Vinegar, or wing-sauce
  4. Honeysuckle
  5. Vanilla anything

Five of my favorite things to say:

  1. "And then... everyone dies." This occurs in about every story I tell that goes on too long.
  2. "That's bad ass." I love how the b, d and a all just flow.
  3. "Whooo Pig Sooie!" Almost exclusive to being in a Razorback stadium.
  4. "Robut." A fun way to say 'robot,' made popular by Dr. Zoidberg.
  5. "Meat burger." It's not ham, after all.

Five of my least favorite things to hear:

  1. "Back in 'Nam." You weren't even alive then.
  2. "Nah, I'm straight." Not referring to sexual orientation.
  3. "I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you." Not unless I kill you first for saying that.
  4. "'Old School' is funnier than 'Super Troopers.'" I WILL kill you for that one.
  5. Anything out of Jeff Goldblum's mouth.

Five vehicles I'd love to drive:

  1. Toyota Tacoma
  2. Audi S4
  3. Nissan Z
  4. Hummer H3
  5. Chevy SSR – PSYCHE!!!

Five things I hope to do this summer:

  1. Trip to NY
  2. Baseball Stadiums trip
  3. Go to a lake (boat, jetski, wakeboard, whatever)
  4. Buy an iPod (though I still don't need one)
  5. Hit a home run in softball (out of the park)

Posted by Seth at 07:24 PM | Comments (3)

June 05, 2005

How NOT to Market to Young Adults

For years and years I've hated a lot of the marketing aimed at the young adult demographic. Sure, I'm a part of this target (or, used to be, seems like the ages continue to shift), and I'm cynical (like I'm supposed to be), but there's good stuff out there... sometimes.

The latest culprit of the bad is that horrid Ford Focus commercial where the lady is explaining the deal to a young 20-something. He's so pumped about the deal that he exlaims, "that's clutch." She corrects him by saying, "no, it's an automatic." He says clutch, she says automatic, etc., hilarity ensues. Aside from the obvious "young people act stupid" mantra (that I first remember from Starburst commercials several years ago), apparently the two generations are so far apart that neither understand each other.

I suppose this commercial can be seen as a parody, but I don't feel it was done well enough to portray that. Back to the drawing board, Ford. Maybe take some pointers from BK, VW and Apple.

Posted by Seth at 08:50 PM | Comments (1)

My Favorite Bars in KC

Just a short list of bars I enjoy going to when out and about. There are a few more, but these are the ones I really enjoy at the current time.

Harry's Country Club
This is my favorite bar that KC has to offer. Yard beer, old school country music jukebox (which I think is free), fried bologna sammies and a patio make this place very hard to top. Scoot and I refer to it as the "time-warp," since it's so easy to just chill there for hours on end. It doesn't hurt that it's only 200 feet away from my building.

John's Big Deck (aka John's Upper Deck)
Drinking some beers with friends is fun. Drinking those beers with friends on the roof of a two-story building in downtown KC is even better. Two negatives about this place, 1) the crazy-long, and sometimes narrow-stepped, staircase and, 2) the often overbearing cover band that plays too loud for conversations. The atmosphere is amazing, though.

The Peanut
One of KC's oldest bars features some of the best wings you'll ever put in your mouth. Bliss. Oh yeah, kick ass BLTs, too. They claim to have the coldest Miller Lite's in KC... not sure how The Quaff feels about that.

The Cashew
The new, younger brother of The Peanut is the Crossroad's newest bar. With four garage doors making up two of its walls, this bar can be almost completely open-air with the flip of a switch. Don't expect food like the Peanut's, it's a little more upscale than that. What can you expect – they're cashing in on the rich peeps from the Western Auto Lofts.

Bulldog
Recently added to my list is this bar located in the Northern end of the Crossroads. It feels a bit more elegant than the other bars I prefer (except The Cashew), but it's still very down to Earth. The Bulldog features a piano player (can't remember his name right now) that literally has about 500 different songs for request. My personal favorites are "The Rainbow Connection," "The Dukes of Hazzard Theme Song," "Charlie Brown Christmas Theme" and "Country Roads." He's there Tuesday through Saturday nights.

Jilly's
This bar wouldn't be anything special if it didn't have DJs that spun records on Thursdays and Fridays. If you grew up in the late 80s and 90s, this place rocks. The music isn't over-bearing and most times you'll get to see some good break-dancing.

Posted by Seth at 10:17 AM | Comments (3)

June 03, 2005

Knocked Down, But Not Out

This week could easily be called one of "those" weeks. I'm referring to those weeks when the things you think you do right, aren't. Those weeks that the things you know are right, end up being wrong. And to top it all off, something is said that makes you question your level of creativity.

Yes. This week, this four-day week, was one of "those" weeks.

Do you ever have that type of week? When you want to throw up your arms? Give up? No matter what you do, it's not good enough? Give in to whatever demand has been made, finish the job and go home?

That's how I felt. Defeated. I wasn't the creative person I thought I was. I didn't care about what the final product was going to be because it wasn't how I intended it to be. I felt like giving up.

Then something inside me clicked. It said to let go of the ego, just for a while. It assured me that I tried everything I could to explain why it should be the way I wanted it to be. Unfortunately, this time, it didn't work out. Big deal. Let it go. Make the changes that have been requested. But don't stop there. Instead of just making the changes on the list, make it better. In spite of your frustration, this project still needs to be finished, it's still going to be seen by many eyes... and it needs to be the best it can be. This project isn't for me. Let it go.

I did just that. I stayed later than usual to make my design the most it can be. Tomorrow I may try to make it even better. It may not be exactly what I wanted, but it's going to be good. And I'll be damned if it's going to be sub-par just because I decided to pout about it.

You may never seen eye-to-eye with everyone you work with, but I implore you to NOT give up if this happens. Let go of the ego for a little while and make it the best that you can, even if it's not what you think it should be. Today, I found out that I really appreciated myself for doing just that.

Posted by Seth at 05:52 PM | Comments (0)