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March 30, 2006
I Texted Text’d Text Messaged You
With the creation of new technologies, so comes the fact that you MUST create the verbiage that describes the action. It’s not that tough of a concept, really, when you think about it...
When you use Google:
“Oh, just google it.” ...or... “I googled it.”
When you Instant Message someone:
“I’m IM’ing her right now.” ...or... “I IM’d him about that.”
When you’ve been screwed over in an election
“I’ve been Nader’d.”
You see where I’m coming from.
But the whole notion of text messaging on a cell phone has created quite the conundrum. When you’re currently sending text messages to someone, then you are “text-messaging.” But what happens when you’ve sent someone a text message? More importantly, how do you say it?
“I texted that information to you yesterday.”
That just sounds ridiculous. Not only that, but my spell-check software doesn’t like it, either (nor does it give me a good solution).
“I text-messaged that information to you yesterday.”
So the verb now is “text-message?” It’s hyphenated, so I suppose that could work... but it’s quite the mouthful, isn’t it? And how exactly does that translate in Spanish?
“I text you that information yesterday.”
Personally, I think this is my favorite scenario. It doesn’t look right, aesthetically, but it sounds the most bestest. Grammatically, I think that “texted” is right, but you’ll sound dumb saying “tex-ted” to your friends. I suppose you could just say “messaged,” but then you really need some dude with a trumpet announcing whatever message you’re sending.
There’s really no winning scenario here. So, uh, good luck.
Posted by Seth at 10:08 PM | Comments (4)
March 23, 2006
AT&T “_________ delivered” Billboards
You’re hauling ass down the highway, cursing at someone going too slow in the left lane, text messaging someone and BAM, you see one of the new AT&T Billboards. You read it, “blogging delivered,” and you start to ponder about AT&T’s new venture into the blogging world. I’ll tell you right now, don’t waste your time pondering too long – because AT&T doesn’t offer blogging.
Nor do they offer podcasting, personnel, or anything else their billboards say they deliver – especially “your,” where the O is cleverly replaced with a world (get it, your world). I take that back, I think that one of the billboards is correct, AT&T probably does offer email if you sign up for their service.
So what do these billboards all mean? Ultimately, I think they’re just a cheap advertising tactic trying to capitalize on buzzwords to get new customers. It’s actually pretty smart. You’ve got some CEO flying down the highway in their car and they see a billboard that says, “podcasts delivered.” The CEO has actually heard this “podcast” word before, so automatically the connection is made that if said CEO wants a podcast, all he/she needs to do is contact AT&T.
But what are they doing to deliver them? Beats me. But me and some co-workers think that it’s because they have this large network of wires dug into the ground. Imagine a call to AT&T customer service:
Seth: Yeah, hi. I’m having trouble recording my podcast.
AT&T: Okay. What can we do for you?
Seth: Well, it won’t record. What am I doing wrong?
AT&T: I don’t follow.
Seth: Uh, well... it won’t record. Can you take me through the steps to record a podcast?
AT&T: Oh! We don’t do that.
Seth: What?
AT&T: We don’t do podcasts.
Seth: What do you mean you don’t do podcasts?
AT&T: That’s not a service we offer, sir.
Seth: Huh? On your billboard, it says “podcasts delivered.”
AT&T: That’s correct.
Seth: I thought that meant you’d help me with my podcast.
AT&T: No sir, I’m sorry.
Seth: Okay, well I’m sure I can figure it out. Say, while I’ve got you on the phone, where do I upload my podcast when I’m done?
AT&T: Sorry, we don’t host podcasts, either.
Seth: What!?!
AT&T: We don’t host podcasts, sir.
Seth: So what DO you do?
AT&T: We’ve got these wires.
Seth: Wires?
AT&T: Yeah. We’ve got hundreds and thousands of wires buried all over the place. And for a monthly fee, we’ll lease them to you.
Seth: What do I need wires for?
AT&T: Uh... delivering podcasts.
Seth: Riiiight. I suppose you don’t offer a blogging service, either, do you?
AT&T: Well, no... but we do have these wires.
Seth: *click*
If you haven’t seen the new AT&T billboards popping up everywhere, then you’re either a) in a very rural place, b) un-observant, or, c) ignoring them due to their stupidity. I, unfortunately, can’t ignore them because they ARE truly dumb. But since AT&T is offering all of these things (but not really), then I thought of some billboards that they need to put up.
Posted by Seth at 03:53 PM | Comments (3)
March 22, 2006
Web 2.0h You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me
If you haven’t noticed the web world around you, some new and exciting things are taking place. I’m referring to Web 2.0 – or what we are coining the second phase of architecture and application development for the web (RSS, APIs, Ajax, tagging, etc.). Gone are the days of Ofoto, Napster, Britannica Online and Netscape... now are the days of Flickr, iTunes, Wikipedia and Google. Web 2.0 is essentially the foundation we’re creating the social web upon. You know what it is without knowing it, but now you know the name.
Like I mentioned, it’s an exciting time. We’re not being guided by the major players (Microsoft, Yahoo!, Google, etc.) any more... if you have an idea, you can capitalize on it and potentially make money on it. This isn’t just small potatoes stuff, either. I wrote an entry on American Copywriter about Newsvine and CNN’s article about the Next Net 25 – 25 startups that are helping reshape/reinvent the web. Clearly there is some very progressive thinking going on.
And it’s not just being noticed by “lame” bloggers like myself. Case in point, Yahoo! buying Flickr. Case in point, Google buying Keyhole and Measure Map. Case in point, Fox buying MySpace. Seeing a trend here?
Yes, the web is being reinvented and we’re all benefiting from it. We’re all getting closer, meeting new people, learning new things... all at the expense of actually stepping outside of our homes and living a little bit.
Seriously, the more we get immersed into Web 2.0, the more I feel we lose touch with our actual surroundings. There are so many new and cool things on the web that I want to take part of, but I simply don’t have the time to dedicate to it. I already have accounts with LiveJournal, MySpace, Friendster, TagWorld and Flickr – but I have no time to do anything with all of them. Today, I created a profile with 30 Boxes and almost created profiles at Flagr, 43 Things and 43 Places.
WHY!?!?!
Why does there need to be so many different things to do and understand? Where’s my time to do any of it? I’m already overwhelmed with trying to learn how to effectively work Delicious, Digg, Magnolia and Technorati, why does there need to be more than that? “Just because,” is the answer.
I think with this new onslaught of technology, we’re becoming a bit redundant. Aren’t CalendarHub, HipCal and Planzo the same as 30 Boxes? Aren’t Riya and BubbleShare the same as Flickr? Isn’t Frappr the same as Flagr? What is better, Upcoming.org, Eventful or evite? Which would you prefer, Delicious Library or Listal? There’s just too many good ideas and WAY too many betas out there (and I don’t even want to go into the beta syndrome discussion).
I’m all for this progression and connecting people in ways they’ve never encountered. But really, Web 2.0 has quickly jumped from cool to overwhelming in just the last year. There will probably be another large shake-down eventually with the smaller, or less dedicated, players falling off... that’s just the nature of the biz.
Ultimately, what I’d like to see happen is this, the bigger players (like Google and Yahoo!) jumping in and snatching some of these guys up and creating a universal login where you can access all of this stuff (photos, maps, calendars, movie and restaurant reviews, etc.). I’m not saying that I will (or that you should) boycott the Web 2.0 stuff. I’m just saying that until things become more centralized, I just don’t have the time to dedicate helping all of them round out and become truly great – I have a non-digital life to attend to.
Posted by Seth at 04:27 PM | Comments (8)
March 20, 2006
Back to the Futurama?
The latest in the on-going saga of Futurama is a bit of good news from Billy West (the voice of Fry). In a post that he made on his message board, Billy said this about the show’s future:
I’m this close to selling my show – “Billy Bastard - Amateur Human Being,” And the other good news is that they’re doing 26 new episodes of “Futurama” for TV and we’re hammering out the deal now. The original plan was to have the DVD’s first but that’s no longer the case. I’m totaly jammed dude.
Greetings from the year 3000! It still sucks!
Billy
Talk about instantaneous excitement from me and about a million other nerds! But then, after a little investigation, the excitement died down a bit... again, from Billy West on his message board:
I’m getting different bits of info that say this news may not be the case. There IS something up Futurama project wise but but it might be the DVD’s still. It’s hard to keep up with things – but I’ll try to do better.
Sorry,
Billy
So the latest now is that there’s no new television episodes, but up to four, yes FOUR, full-length DVD movies. Keep up to date with all the latest Futurama news at Can’t Get Enough Futurama.
When it boils down to it, new Futuramas (television or not) = truly awesome news.
Posted by Seth at 02:13 PM | Comments (1)
Addicted to Walnut
I apologize for my recent absence, but I’ve been pretty busy lately. Why so busy, you ask? Well, because I just finished up MOVING FOR THE SEVENTH TIME DURING MY SIX YEARS IN KANSAS CITY! Whoa, sorry for yelling.
Yes, it’s true, I’ve moved once again. This time I didn’t move away from my place because it was driving me crazy. No, far from it. This time I moved because the building I was living in decided to go condo, thus practically giving me the boot since I don’t have enough money to buy one. Nice, eh?
I loved my loft and about 95% of the building (won’t miss the slow-ass elevator and slow-ass garage door). Ah well. Time to move on.
And move I did, with the help of (hey) Craig, Bruno, Aaron, Bev and Scoot. I put these peeps through hell on Sunday. First off, it took us nearly three hours to get the truck loaded thanks to aforementioned slow-ass elevator. But then, at my new place (which is on Walnut, again, this time in the Crossroads), you don’t have to worry about waiting for the elevator – because there isn’t one. Ugh. More bad news... I live on the third floor. Sorry ya’ll.
Surprisingly, the unloading at the new place and at storage took an entire hour less. Go figure.
As to keep tradition from the last move, we locked up and went to Grinder’s to eat. One item we ordered was the hot wings. If you’re not a frequenter of Grinder’s, there are three degrees of hotness you can get:
- Wimpy – Just as stated
- Molten – Good flavor, about like anywhere else
- Absolutely Insane Death Wings – Really, these non-refundable wings will F you up
Scoot, after having one of the Molten wings, started talking about how he thought he might have to order himself a half-order of Death Wings to take home. I called him an idiot because of his claim that he “liked things hot.” Making him put his money where his mouth is, I went up and got a little cup of Death Wing sauce for him to try. He grabbed another wing, practically dunked the entire thing in the cup, and started lift it towards his mouth. I sprang into action and literally held his arm from completing the move. Beggingly and pleadingly, I tried to reason with Scoot to try the sauce first. So he took a small bite. A few seconds later he said it burned, and sure enough, one minute after taking a bite, the hiccups came. He was sweating, his face turned red and he couldn’t drink enough to calm the heat.
All of this, of course, AFTER we told him the story of another friend experiencing the exact same thing.
As if it wasn’t bad enough for Scoot during the incident... I received this email from him later that night:
Subject Line: Some sage advice, from one who’s been there.
If you dip a finger into the Death Wing sauce from Grinders, and then four hand washings and two hours later you have to pee, whatever you do, use the other hand. Because that residue is STILL THERE two hours and four handwashings later. (I learned a new definition of pain and suffering!)
-Scoot-
’Nuff said. I’m all moved in now. Let the posting resume.
Posted by Seth at 11:24 AM | Comments (5)
March 08, 2006
Hooters, Go Back to Boob-land
This is the best Kansas City-based news I’ve heard in a long while – Hooters will no longer be buying out the Westport Flea Market and tearing it down. Instead, local entrepreneur Joe Zwillenberg (owner of Joe Joe’s Italian Eatery and Joe’s Burger Joint) will purchase the Flea and says that nothing will change.
That’s freaking awesome!!!
Save Our Stadiums? More Like Save Our Owners!
In other Kansas City area news, our beloved sports stadiums (for the Royals and Chiefs) are easily the hottest topic around the city. Both teams’ leases run out in 2014 and there’s a huge push for tax-payers to give the teams millions of dollars to fix up both stadiums. On top of all that, literally, the Chiefs want to add a retractable roof so that we can host a Super Bowl in 2015. Many officials are even threatening that if this initiative doesn’t pass, then the teams will leave the city.
What a lame threat. Usually, when teams want to renovate (or better yet, why not build a new stadium... at least a baseball one, downtown...?) stadiums, they put in a lot of their own money – THEN ask the public to pass taxes to help fund the rest. That makes sense, right?
In this case, the total bill is hovering around $800 Million. That’s $800 Million to refurbish two outdated stadiums and build a retractable roof... and guess how much the Chiefs and Royals are putting in... $100 Million. Total. That leaves, oh, about $700M for the voters to come up with. Sounds like a deal... for the owners.
Unfortunately, because of all the Super Bowl talk, this thing is probably going to pass... especially because the following groups endorse the plan: Greater Kansas City Chamber of Commerce, The Kansas City Star, The Downtown Council (yeah, way to support downtown!) and The Greater Kansas City Building & Construction Trades Council. Visit saveourstadiums.com for more information.
I think we’ve been here before with Kemper Arena. They clamored that it was so much better to just renovate the arena so the voters gave them the money... and now what, Kemper is barely used and we’re building a new arena in the middle of downtown. Brilliant. Let’s just upgrade Arrowhead, tear down Kauffman (even though it IS a beautiful stadium) and build a new baseball stadium downtown. Pittsburgh did it for $350M about four years ago. That’s pretty cheap if you ask me.
Ultimately, a lot of people against this plan think that David Glass and Lamar Hunt are being huge cheapskates. A hilarious opposition web site has popped up at saveourowners.com, check it out.
Here’s my take... Can we for once do what’s best for the city? Truman Sports Complex has NEVER been what it was planned to be – a family destination, even at times other than games. Let’s do what’s best for the city and it’s downtown revitalization and build a stadium downtown – it’s worked for Denver, Pittsburgh and several other cities, why not us? And if the Royals or Chiefs want to leave because we’re not willing to pay more than our share of the costs... screw ’em. Good riddance.
Posted by Seth at 03:52 PM | Comments (0)
March 07, 2006
Do You Park More Better, Now?
I know that Steven has used them... I’m pretty sure that Scoot has used them... but beyond those two, I haven’t heard too much about it. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything about my Please Park Better cards, but I think it’s time that I re-visit the idea. Tell me:
- what you like about them
- what new cards you’d like to see
- what you’d change
- stories from using them
- anything
If you do that, I’ll go make some new cards for us all. Heck-fire, maybe you’ll even see a new web site dedicated to it. How about them apples?
Posted by Seth at 02:44 PM | Comments (5)
I Shame The Name “Gunderson”
Yesterday, out of the blue, I received this comment to the post about my recent troubles with Commerce Bank:
Seth,
I googled my last name “Gunderson” and you came up :(
By you blog you sound super lame.
It is to bad we have the same last name.
Needless to say (but I’m going to say it anyway), I was devastated. I mean, I take pride in being a relative to the former son of Gunter – and that’s a hard act to follow! I know that I’m not quite as well known as some other Gundersons...
- Former MLB pitcher, Eric Gunderson
- Gunderson, the band
- Marge Gunderson, from Fargo
- Gunderson High School
...but c’mon. I’m popping up on page two if you search for “gunderson” on Google, so that’s gotta be something.
Oh well, you win some and you lose some. I emailed the commenter back, but I received no response. A shame, I wanted to know why I sounded super lame... but I think I already know that answer. Here’s my new open letter to the commenter:
Commenter,
I googled “super lame” and my web site didn’t come up :)
By your email grammar, you sound super dumb.
It IS too bad we have the same last name, I wish you spelled better.
File this one under “I’m a butthole.”
Posted by Seth at 09:45 AM | Comments (5)
March 03, 2006
To Remove Oil From Cement Driveway...
You park your car in the same spot every day with no problems. Then, one day, you pull out of your parking spot and notice there’s a pool of thick black liquid where your car was. It’s oil and your car is leaking it. First, you gotta get that leak fixed. Then, you gotta take care of that oil spot. Here’s how you do it:
- Spread a thick layer of fresh sawdust or kitty litter over the grease to absorb excess grease or oil on the surface.
- Allow the sawdust or kitty litter to sit for a day or two.
- Gently sweep away the dirty sawdust or kitty litter.
- Pour dry cement over the entire dried grease spot.
- Allow the cement to sit for a day or two.
- Gently sweep away the dirty cement.
- Gather dirty cement in a bag and throw it away. Do not allow the dirty dry cement to go down the sewer.
If you’re out of fresh sawdust or kitty litter, then I suppose used kitty litter will work, too:
Photo taken this morning in my parking garage.
Posted by Seth at 09:41 AM | Comments (1)
March 01, 2006
When Celebrities and Realities Collide
It’s the natural progression of network television. No matter how hard we try, it always seems to end up in the same place. I’m talking, of course, about inserting celebreties into reality television.
Reality television has always been a point of contention for me. These “reality” shows aren’t real! It’s usually some concocted plot line that screened and selected people are chosen to participate in. Think about it... The Amazing Race, The Real World (minus the first few seasons), Survivor, Fear Factor, The Apprentice... need I continue?
In reality, since that’s what we’re talking about here, these aren’t “reality” shows... they’re game shows. In reality, no one is ever going to offer me $10k to eat some worms. In reality, no one is going to send me to an island. In reality, I’ll never set foot inside Donald Trump’s board room.
If anything, I say we call these shows “un-scripted.” Which is truly what they are. So I guess I have a problem with how they identify themselves.
Do this... can you name five shows that truly reflect reality? I can’t.
The closest I could come to that would be a show like Country Boys. I’d love to lump Grizzly Man in there, too, but that was released as a movie. I’ll venture out a tad bit and say that shows like Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica or Being Bobby Brown were/are realistic shows – even though they’re all freaks.
Unfortunately, a show that I would consider a “reality” show would be called a “documentary.”
Anyway, just as the natural progression of television shows states, we inherently move from one faddish show to the next. First it was the new-age game shows – Who Wants to be a Millionaire and The Weakest Link. Then it was the un-realistic game shows – Survivor, The Amazing Race and Fear Factor. After that was the job-oriented game shows – American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance and Project Runway. And now, because apparently we’re tired of being entertained by our next door neighbors, we have to insert celebreties into shows – Dancing With the Stars, Skating With Celebrities and The Surreal Life.
Why? It doesn’t make any sense to me. Why do I care if a celebrity can dance or ice skate better than anyone else?
If it were up to me, I’d be inserting these celebreties into an actual reality show. How about Mountain Climbing With the Stars? Or, Shooting At Iraqis With Celebrities? Better yet, In Jail With Your Favorite Actors.
Posted by Seth at 02:15 PM | Comments (1)