You’re hauling ass down the highway, cursing at someone going too slow in the left lane, text messaging someone and BAM, you see one of the new AT&T Billboards. You read it, “blogging delivered,” and you start to ponder about AT&T’s new venture into the blogging world. I’ll tell you right now, don’t waste your time pondering too long – because AT&T doesn’t offer blogging.
Nor do they offer podcasting, personnel, or anything else their billboards say they deliver – especially “your,” where the O is cleverly replaced with a world (get it, your world). I take that back, I think that one of the billboards is correct, AT&T probably does offer email if you sign up for their service.
So what do these billboards all mean? Ultimately, I think they’re just a cheap advertising tactic trying to capitalize on buzzwords to get new customers. It’s actually pretty smart. You’ve got some CEO flying down the highway in their car and they see a billboard that says, “podcasts delivered.” The CEO has actually heard this “podcast” word before, so automatically the connection is made that if said CEO wants a podcast, all he/she needs to do is contact AT&T.
But what are they doing to deliver them? Beats me. But me and some co-workers think that it’s because they have this large network of wires dug into the ground. Imagine a call to AT&T customer service:
Seth: Yeah, hi. I’m having trouble recording my podcast.
AT&T: Okay. What can we do for you?
Seth: Well, it won’t record. What am I doing wrong?
AT&T: I don’t follow.
Seth: Uh, well... it won’t record. Can you take me through the steps to record a podcast?
AT&T: Oh! We don’t do that.
AT&T: We don’t do podcasts.
Seth: What do you mean you don’t do podcasts?
AT&T: That’s not a service we offer, sir.
Seth: Huh? On your billboard, it says “podcasts delivered.”
AT&T: That’s correct.
Seth: I thought that meant you’d help me with my podcast.
AT&T: No sir, I’m sorry.
Seth: Okay, well I’m sure I can figure it out. Say, while I’ve got you on the phone, where do I upload my podcast when I’m done?
AT&T: Sorry, we don’t host podcasts, either.
AT&T: We don’t host podcasts, sir.
Seth: So what DO you do?
AT&T: We’ve got these wires.
AT&T: Yeah. We’ve got hundreds and thousands of wires buried all over the place. And for a monthly fee, we’ll lease them to you.
Seth: What do I need wires for?
AT&T: Uh... delivering podcasts.
Seth: Riiiight. I suppose you don’t offer a blogging service, either, do you?
AT&T: Well, no... but we do have these wires.
If you haven’t seen the new AT&T billboards popping up everywhere, then you’re either a) in a very rural place, b) un-observant, or, c) ignoring them due to their stupidity. I, unfortunately, can’t ignore them because they ARE truly dumb. But since AT&T is offering all of these things (but not really), then I thought of some billboards that they need to put up.