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May 31, 2005

Feeling Lost?

I wish that Lost wasn't already over for the season, but someone has earned themselves a cookie. A BIG cookie, at that. Why? Easy, because there is now a Lost Season Two Teaser online.

It's not as simple as me just giving you the link. I mean, what's the fun in that? No, no. In true Lost fashion, this was an uncovered secret and a brilliant marketing effort by the Lost team over at ABC.

In the same way that the television show started off with Oceanic Flight 815, so does our quest for the Season Two Teaser.

  1. Head on over to Oceanic-Air.com.
  2. In the boxes at the bottom of the page - the ones that look like drop-downs - starting with the Adult (18-64) blank, let's enter Hurley's favorite code... 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 (Enter 4 in the first box, 8 in the second one, etc.). Now click "Find."
  3. Now you'll see the interior of the plane, as if you were going to choose where you sit. Again, Hurley's code get's us where we want to go. At the bottom, where the aisle rows are, click the following numbers in sequence: 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42.
  4. Sit back and enjoy.

Eventually you'll end up at OceanicFlight815.com (notice that 815 are next to each other in the flight number, duh), which I imagine will be built out in more depth at a later time.

Also... go click around on the seats in the seating chart. Click everywhere, certain combinations make some seats turn green. When one does turn green (or red), click it and you'll see some cool stuff. Some last longer than others, have patience.

One more thing... on the home page there is some hidden text... this is what it says:

If anyone should find this message, please get word to Sandra Rafflethorpe of Palm Avenue in Lewiston, Idaho that her sister, Sally is alive and stranded on an island somewhere in the South Pacific. Please send help soon. Things are bad. And they're getting worse...
Sally

Robert D. West, of Santa Barbara, California, USA survived a horrific plane crash and is stranded on an island somewhere Northeast of Australia and Southwest of Hawaii. In the event that I am never found, please forward word of my fate to parents, Mr. and Mrs. John West, of Tucson Arizona. Thank you.
Robert

This is a great and fun marketing strategy for die-hard fans like myself. Very intelligent.

Posted by Seth at 05:43 PM | Comments (5)

May 28, 2005

Please Muzzle Bill Walton

Bill Walton is the most annoying person on television. No one understands why he has a job at ESPN, no one likes him. I don't understand why he has a job, at all. It makes me cringe to listen to this idiot. To make matters worse, he's been the color-commentator for the past two games of the Western Conference Finals.

Bill Walton, please don't act like an all-knowing basketball savant anymore. Things that make you sound stupid...

"No one is helping guard Tony Parker when he drives to the lane."

... followed by, not just two minutes later ...

"Where's the defense!?! Tony Parker drives and two guys guard him and he just throws it to the open man. Unbelieveable."

Make up your mind, Bill Walton. ESPN, please don't let this guy talk anymore. Get him a human muzzle. Glue his mouth shut a la "House of Wax." Make him listen to himself, no wait, he would love that. Ah-ha! Stick Manu Ginobili's jock in his mouth, since he wants to be his sex slave.

"Manu's mother had the foresight to get him English lessons at age eight."

Ginobili is from Argentina, where apparently English is the second-most popular language. Besides that fact, it also appears that one out of every six people, in the entire world, speak English. While it's impressive that Ginobili speaks English, Bill, you sound like an idiot when you say things like that.

Bill Walton needs to be stopped.

Also, when a career 69% free throw shooter is shooting 86% for the series (after a 15-15 night at the line), don't you have to ask "what's going on?" Funny, it WAS asked, and Tim Duncan's response was, "they're going in now." No kidding. How about this for a better answer... "I'm taking an average of 15 seconds at the line to shoot. The refs don't care about the rules." The NBA clearly states you should only get 10 seconds, or it's a violation (see "Section III-Time Limit"). Impressive.

Posted by Seth at 11:27 PM | Comments (4)

May 26, 2005

Musical Baton Rouge

I've seen this on several different web sites as of late, and thought it was a neat idea. So why not give it a shot here. It's called the Musical Baton and all of the pertinant information is below.

Total volume of music files on my computer:
8.56 GB (iTunes)

Last CD I bought was...
Spoon: Gimme Fiction. (Amazon :: iTunes)

It's no secret that I'm a musical idiot. I usually rely on Todd, Aaron or someone else to show me good music other than the hippity-hop (I'm covered there, thanks). But this CD was a no-brainer. I absolutely loved "Girls Can Tell" and "Kill the Moonlight," and after hearing a sneak-peak from Todd, I couldn't wait for this to drop.

Song playing right now:
"16 Military Wives" by The Decemberists, from the "Picaresque" album.

Five songs I listen to a lot these days:

  1. "I Turn My Camera On," by Spoon
  2. "Eli, the Barrow Boy," by The Decemberists
  3. "First Day of My Life," by Bright Eyes
  4. "The Spell You're Under," by Versus
  5. "Number One Spot," by Ludacris

And now I pass the baton to...

Posted by Seth at 02:23 PM | Comments (4)

May 23, 2005

Nerd Alert: Adobe + Macromedia = Super PDFs

To my knowledge, this is the first time we've seen a PDF that has Flash embedded in it. I'm not sure if this works on all computers or not, but this is very cool stuff. Mark this step one in the whole Adobe/Macromedia acquisition.

Posted by Seth at 02:06 PM | Comments (0)

What You Got There... Rooooller Derby?

This weekend I witnessed a first in Kansas City. Granted it wasn't like the late 90's television show (with curved walls) or the extremely-glorified movie version (or the lousy remake), but Kansas City has its own Roller Derby.

For most of you wondering, yes, this was a little bit strange to witness. After you get over the initial weirdity, it's really kinda fun to watch. The league here is an all-girl league (I'm not even sure if there is a guy league out there – I'm not even sure guys would want to play this) but don't even think that some of these girls are too prissy, because they're falling on that wooden floor all night. Falling hard. I suppose that's why most of them wear ass pads, buttocks blockers, prosterior protectors, booty booties or tush cushions.

There aren't too many matches during the year, maybe one per month for four months, but there's a lot more going on than just roller derby action. During Halftime #1, The Kansas City Marching Cobras (web site down) performed... and if you've never seen them, you're missing out. During Halftime #2 a local Kansas City band, It's Over, performed. See, lots more than just the game.

The game itself is much fun, too. The girls can get quite vicious in there (not surprising). I think there's an element of scripting going on, maybe not to the extreme of who's going to win, but the "fights" didn't seem too real.

Really, it's fun and if you're in the Kansas City area you should go check it out. There's one more match this year, in June, but I can't remember when right now. Just keep your eye on the Kansas City Roller Warriors web site to find out.

Posted by Seth at 12:06 PM | Comments (0)

May 19, 2005

So How Was It!?!

The very first Star Wars (Episode IV: A New Hope) came out when I was the wee age of -2 months. I can't say that I really grew up in my early years being blasted with Star Wars stuff, but I began to realize the films around the time that Episode Six: Return of the Jedi was released. From there, Star Wars was a magical place for me. Honestly, who can say they didn't want to be a Jedi (not just Luke) or Princess Leia? Hell, I would've even been fine with being Han Solo! But I digress (that's fun to say, I think).

I really became a fan of Star Wars again in high school when I began reading the Expanded Universe (new stories that went beyond, or in between, the movies). It was then that the hooks were in place. So much so that when Episode One: The Phantom Menace came out, Meelah and I went and camped out for the premiere. Nerds? Yup.

The Star Wars fan base is large, if you were unaware, and I'd say that most fans tend to favor the original trilogy (Episodes Four, Five and Six) when compared to the prequel trilogy (Episodes One, Two and Three). I'm in that camp, mainly because the original movies did a fantastic job of taking you to a different place for two hours.

And now, finally the circle is complete. Last night (err, early this morning) I saw Episode Three: Revenge of the Sith, and here's what I thought:

Please Note: The following does contain spoiler information, proceed with caution! You've been warned.

From the very beginning of the movie you can tell that it's different than the first two Episodes. Something feels different. It could be the camera angles or movement, but something is different. You're plunged into a gigantic space battle, but the focus is on Obi-Wan and Anakin, fitting if you ask me, as they are two major focal points in this film. The movie rarely slowed down, but also, there weren't any major surprises (did we need them?).

So how was it?
It's a good movie. It's better than the first two films – which I should say out front that I enjoyed those films. No, they weren't the originals, that would be very hard mojo to grasp again, but they told a story. Often times the story was maybe too convenient, but Lucas was connecting gaps.

So really, how was it?
I liked it, a lot. There were some things that stood out as bad, but overall I really liked it.

What stood out as bad?

But... you liked it, right?
Good golly, yes.

What was good, then?

No doubt people, this movie is good. I give it a solid B/B+. Let me know what you think.

Posted by Seth at 04:15 PM | Comments (4)

May 17, 2005

7 X 3 Reasons to NOT See XXX 2

Ah yes, the first night of no bowling in a very long time. Although I missed the non-chance of throwing a 200 tonight, I was too busy witnessing one of the world's worst movies. You see, some of my friends have this thing called Bad Movie Night. The premise is simple, you find the worst rated movie on Rotten Tomatoes and go watch it. Easy, right? Ugh. Tonight's gem was "XXX: State of the Union," starring none other than the oft-heralded action star Ice Cube.

Reasons Why This Movie Sucked

  1. It was a sequel to XXX
  2. It's a horrible James Bond rip-off... title sequence with no naked chicks, quirky gadgets guy and insane stunts
  3. Xzibit runs a chop-shop
  4. Quote recycle, "the things I'm gonna do for my country"
  5. Nerd hacks the DOD in an hour
  6. "We've seen you fight, so we know you can kick some ass... but what else can you do? The first XXX could snowboard, surf..."
  7. Apparently Vin Diesel requires too much money to make a movie of this caliber... as a snub, we learn he's been killed off in the first five minutes of this movie
  8. Hiding from infra-red satellite imagery by microwaving food and putting it in a bath tub
  9. Stunt #1: Jumping from a roof to a helicoptor
  10. Stunt #2: Ramping a out-board motor boat up a 45-degree "ramp" and onto a bridge
  11. Stunt #3 and 3b: Dodging a rocket from a rocket launcher and a missile from a tank, while driving a tank of his own
  12. Stunt #4: Ramping a car onto a train track while going 145+ mph
  13. Stunt #4b: Maintaining speed on train track while tires explode
  14. Stunt #4c: Locking wheels onto train track and driving about 180 mph
  15. Stunt #5: Jumping off speeding train at 180+ mph, free falling 150+ feet and diving head first into a river
  16. "This music is crunk!"
  17. The President quoting Tupac
  18. Cheap over-used plot of wanting to kill someone important, but never just putting a cap in his ass... SHOOT HIM ALREADY!!!

Three Reasons Why This Movie Was Bearable

  1. Getting to hear Samuel L. Jackson say "I told you you should've killed that bitch."
  2. It was 101 minutes long
  3. Instant realization that "Agent Cody Banks" is a bad ass

Thanks Scoot. Thanks Nik. No thanks to you, Ken.

Posted by Seth at 10:32 PM | Comments (2)

May 14, 2005

Isn't That A Concept

I was speaking with Bruno (a Brazilian co-worker of mine at SHS) the other day. He had asked me if I had watched the latest episode of "Lost." I told him I had watched it, and then he asked me if they "opened the hatch," yet. For those of you who watch the show, and haven't caught up yet, they have not yet opened the hatch (I would normally make all of this spoiler-ish text invisible, but I don't consider this spoiler material).

Bruno was a little upset that they still haven't opened the hatch. He wants the show to get on with itself and get all of the secrets out into the open. On one hand, I disagree. "Lost," and other shows ("Desperate Housewives," "Deadwood," and "Carnivale"), have finally made television almost watchable again (I won't even mention some shows that negate that fact). When shows actually have a good story to tell, I don't mind them taking so long to tell it... as long as it remains fresh and interesting. I'll still watch a show once it's jumped the shark, but it's not nearly as fun. I also know that when shows are getting rave reviews and big ratings numbers, then networks do they only thing they know best... renew and prolong. It IS their job, afterall.

But on the other hand, I'm right there with Bruno. Stop dedicating an entire season to what all the crazy stuff on the island is. Just tell us already and let's see how everyone deals with it all. Season finales are good and all, but let's move on to the next crazy idea, make the story turn, surprise us, keep us guessing.

Despite the success of "Lost," I wonder how small the story once was and how big it's ballooned to now. Chances are the entire story could've played out in one season. Chances also are the story was created as a 48 or 72 episode arc. Who am I to say?

But think about this. How intriguing would some high concept television be for us? Imagine shows that play out in eleven episodes, that's it. No continuation, no second-season, no prequels. It's like a mini-series, almost. Imagine "Lost" ending next week, for good. What a fun series it would've been, right? HBO already makes their seasons 12 episodes, or less, and I think it makes for some better storylines. They don't deal with low-times or sweeps. How refreshing. I'm not certain, but I think the UK does this too.

But would it work here in America? I doubt it. Everything here is about making money, not about telling a good story and keeping it intriguing. You see tons and tons of interviews with people saying they'll come back for another season, or the next film, if the story is good. Most times they're NOT GOOD. Why keep things going for so long ("The X-Files," "Friends", and "ER" come to mind)? Do we television viewers need to grasp onto a story and hold onto it forever?

I don't think so. But I record about six shows as it is right now, so what do I know? I suppose I'm just ready to be challenged a bit more in my television viewing.

Posted by Seth at 06:55 PM | Comments (0)

May 12, 2005

Anything You Kandoo

For the longest time now I've thought that toilet paper manufacturers were missing the mark when it came to marketing their products. If you think about it, they were actually WAY off the mark. In the past, you were apparently in the market for toilet paper if you did the following:

What in the hell were these people thinking? They were being creative, I suppose, but why not just come out with the obvious statement: buy this toilet paper because it feels the best on your ass when you're wiping.

It's bothered me that they've never done that. I'm sorry that America has some weird fetish with being prude, but the last time I checked almost 100% of us go poo-poo. And after we do the deed, we need to wipe. So sell me some toilet paper that will do the trick. If it also accomplishes other tasks (covering shaving cuts, tissue substitute, etc.) that's fine, but priority number one is my butt (as I curse my gallbladder-less self).

The closest commercial I've seen to that message is the Charmin animated bear in the woods. He runs out of paper and uses leaves, or something (which reminds me of the time that an old friend of mine used Poison Ivy once on accident, ouch!). That's the closest we can get? An animated bear?

Nope. We've gotten a little bit closer. It's still an animated character, a frog, but this time the frog is actually wiping his booty. The product is Kandoo, they're flushable toilet wipes for kids who are learning to potty train. Right there, on the cover of the box, the frog is cleaning himself. Funny, right? Oh, it gets better... go to the Kandoo Products page, click on Flushible Toilet Wipes, then click on "Moist" when the animated intro is done. Classic.

If only the frog was Kermit and the bear was Fozzie, THEN we'd be getting somewhere. Maybe.

Posted by Seth at 09:58 PM | Comments (5)

This Man Needs Stats, Stat!

One of the perks of having a web site is seeing the kind of traffic you get: how often people are checking the site, what pages they're going to, etc. But until now, the only way I gaged that was by my popularity on Google, my ranking on Alexa.com and the number of comments I get on my posts. That simply wasn't enough.

For years there have been free stat services on the internet that you can plug your site into. I've never really been fond of any of them, they all seemed very clunky.

I've since changed my mind. Yesterday I started to use a free service from StatCounter.com. It's simple. All you do is copy and paste a little snippet of code into your pages and BLAM, instant tracking results.

It's easy, it's fun, and it's now another web site I can waste my day at watching who's been on my site. Big Brother is watching.

Posted by Seth at 10:11 AM | Comments (3)

May 10, 2005

Please Park Better: The Cards

They're here! They're ready! Get those scissors out! Print the cards! Tell the bad drivers that they're no good!

I'll probably be making some revisions to the pdf here and there, but this is Version 1, Alpha, Gold, as in, we're not Beta anymore!

Get your cards here!

Posted by Seth at 08:30 AM | Comments (4)

May 06, 2005

Parking Cards, Nearly Complete?

Okay, I've created the parallel cards and added them to the page. You can view the new cards here. Read below to see what the text says.

Card One
Your bad parking job (see below) was brought to my attention when I tried to park next to you, but couldn

Posted by Seth at 10:49 PM | Comments (6)

May 04, 2005

Put It In Park

I'm am impatient man, sometimes. I hate waiting on buses. My elevator and garage door almost slow me to death. And the thought of actually taking 20 minutes to cook a meal is asinine. So when I'm trying to find a parking space and some jerk has done such a crappy job parking their vehicle so that I can't park in an open space, it makes me want to club a donkey in the face (I rhymed!).

Several years ago Wendy and I joked about making these little cards that had Mickey Mouse flipping you off on them. The card would say something to the effect of "park better next time, bitch." I never made the time to make them, but have wanted to for so long.

With the recent re-discovering of the SHHH cards and my recent hooking up of my new printer, I decided it was finally time to make the cards.

For your viewing pleasure, the Please Park Better (PPB) Cards.

Let me know what I can do to make these better! I'll soon make a nice pdf for everyone to print to let the idiots know just what is up.

Posted by Seth at 08:06 PM | Comments (7)

May 01, 2005

Wanna Ride? My Lawnmower?

Imagine, if you will, the grass outside your house is getting very tall. You COULD go outside and mow it... but maybe it's too hot, or maybe you don't have time, or maybe you don't even care. Regardless of the situation, have you ever thought of hiring someone to cut your grass for you? For a small fee, someone will come to your house and do yardwork for you. Novel concept, eh?

Paying someone to mow your lawn isn't anything new, sorry to inform you. But what I'm about to give you a link to is absolutely one of the dumbest things I've ever seen – please keep in mind who I am and what me and my friends have done in the past. In the continuation of dumbing down America, there is a new lawn-mowing service available in Kansas City.

Ready to save up some money? Best start now!

Ew.

Posted by Seth at 09:42 PM | Comments (3)