Anything You Kandoo

For the longest time now I've thought that toilet paper manufacturers were missing the mark when it came to marketing their products. If you think about it, they were actually WAY off the mark. In the past, you were apparently in the market for toilet paper if you did the following:

What in the hell were these people thinking? They were being creative, I suppose, but why not just come out with the obvious statement: buy this toilet paper because it feels the best on your ass when you're wiping.

It's bothered me that they've never done that. I'm sorry that America has some weird fetish with being prude, but the last time I checked almost 100% of us go poo-poo. And after we do the deed, we need to wipe. So sell me some toilet paper that will do the trick. If it also accomplishes other tasks (covering shaving cuts, tissue substitute, etc.) that's fine, but priority number one is my butt (as I curse my gallbladder-less self).

The closest commercial I've seen to that message is the Charmin animated bear in the woods. He runs out of paper and uses leaves, or something (which reminds me of the time that an old friend of mine used Poison Ivy once on accident, ouch!). That's the closest we can get? An animated bear?

Nope. We've gotten a little bit closer. It's still an animated character, a frog, but this time the frog is actually wiping his booty. The product is Kandoo, they're flushable toilet wipes for kids who are learning to potty train. Right there, on the cover of the box, the frog is cleaning himself. Funny, right? Oh, it gets better... go to the Kandoo Products page, click on Flushible Toilet Wipes, then click on "Moist" when the animated intro is done. Classic.

If only the frog was Kermit and the bear was Fozzie, THEN we'd be getting somewhere. Maybe.

+ original post date: May 12, 2005 09:58 PM
+ categories: Pop Culture, WTF


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I'm a little unsure what to think. On one hand, I think the animated frog wiping his butt on command is amazingly funny.

But on the other, it is somewhat disconcerting that you found that site. And then had a full blog about toilet paper.

Of course, I have a friend of mine with a similar "situation" as yours, and he's brought up the subject of toilet paper lots of times. So maybe it's not that weird...just something that isn't on one's mind unless of frequency of use.

+ author: Nelson
+ posted: June 25, 2005 08:20 AM

My situation isn't nearly as bad as I might make it out to be. It's more of an annoyance than anything else. I've actually fixated on this toilet paper marketing issue for years and since I saw Kandoo at Target tonight, I thought it was past time I blogged about it.

+ author: Seth
+ posted: June 25, 2005 08:20 AM

This is a step in the right direction. It's along the same lines as how apparently diapers and pads are made for pouring blue liquids into, and tampons are made for immersing into test tubes full of water. They never come right out and admit that the various disposable fibrous products we buy are for cleaning up urine, poo, blood, or boogers.

+ author: ScooterJ
+ posted: June 25, 2005 08:21 AM

Here's what I'm thinking:

Maybe they should go all out and show full on wiping... but instead of the doo doo being brown, dye it blue, you know, like they do in the tampon/pad commercials. I mean, who's offended by blue doo? Not this guy. Just my $.02.

+ author: Jonathan
+ posted: June 25, 2005 08:21 AM

well look at it this way. if someone walked up to you and wiped poo on you, you wouldn't just grab a tissue and wipe it off. you'd go do a little washing. flushable wipes=shower for your butt...

+ author: smanley
+ posted: June 25, 2005 08:22 AM

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