August21

Top 10 Worst Movies of the Summer: A BMN Reflection

Another summer gone, another plethora of bad movies attended. With my near-infinite knowledge of bad movies, it’s only fair that I try to arrange them in order of worse to worst.

10. Hostel: Part II
The first of the three torture porns fared the best. And if you’ve seen the first “Hostel,” then this is just more of the same. Except worse. But not MUCH worse, because the first one wasn’t that great.

9. Evan Almighty
It’s sad, but not unusual, when a co-star steals the show in a movie. It’s sadder when you take said co-star, make them the star, and he can’t carry the sequel all that well. This movie was too scripted, too cg’d and not the right vehicle for Steve Carell. But he should’ve known better with Wanda Sykes being involved.

8. License to Wed
John Krasinski’s first starrer wasn’t nearly as bad as RottenTomatoes.com made it out to be. Sure it was lame, overly formulaic and featured a not-that-funny-anymore Robin Williams... but it was better than many made it out to be. Oh, but it DID have Wanda Sykes in it, soooooo.

7. Underdog
Yet another in a long string of failed attempts of turning pop culture into film success. This time, it dragged Jason Lee down with it. Sigh.

6. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Easily the worst comic book movie I’ve seen. And that’s saying a lot when you have to consider the likes of Hulk, Electra and Daredevil. This ended up being an hour and a half long commercial with jokes aimed at children. But that’s fine, I never really liked the Fantastic Four anyway.

5. Captivity
The second torture porn film of the summer was pretty stinky. When you have a marketing campaign that looks better than the film, that’s not good. When you have an acclaimed director producing piles of crap like this, it’s even worse.

4. Delta Farce
I really do wish that making a movie was as easy as watching “¡Three Amigos!”, getting a washed-up “white trash” comedian and writing about 70 15-second short films. This film had no direction, zero funny parts and bah, who cares?

3. I Know Who Killed Me
The third, and last, torture porn flick was the cream of the crop. Lindsay Lohan did the best job she could in trying to earn a Razzie and the audience was treated to what could be considered (en masse) the worst movie of the year.

2. Who’s Your Caddy?
Stereotypes ran amuck in this “Caddyshack” wanna-be. Were there big-name stars in it? No. Were there great jokes? No. Were there any convicted sex-offenders? Bingo.

1. Daddy Day Camp
Can anyone say “straight-to-video?” Or how about, “Cuba, your career is over.”

I can’t wait until Christmas!!!

+ original post date: August 21, 2007 06:50 PM
+ categories: Bad Movie Night