July05

BMN: Evan Almighty

“We see bad movies so that we can truly appreciate the good ones.”

I remember a few years ago when “Bruce Almighty” came out and how I thought that it wasn't the typical let-Jim-Carrey-go-crazy-and-we'll-film-it kind of movies. In fact, the one thing I do remember most was when Steve Carell stole the show by doing his blabbering anchorman bit. I was laughing so hard, I nearly wet myself.

With the current huge popularity of The Office (American version) and Steve Carell, it only made sense for Hollywood to not try and create something new and unique, but to reach back and create a sequel to an already semi-established franchise, “Evan Almighty”. It wasn't fair enough for Universal to make millions off of “The 40 Year Old Virgin,” so they sunk a record $175 million to make it. Yes, $175 MILLION, which would put it right above “The Polar Express,” at number 15, in Forbes' Most Expensive Movies list.

What exactly does $175M get you these days?

1. For starters, the title of “most expensive comedy ever made.”
2. A break-even number of around $500M – when you add in all the marketing dollars.
3. About 15 dances by Carell. Dances, I might add, that the director REALLY wanted everyone to be doing by the movie's end.
4. Around 32 Wanda Sykes jokes that fell flat.
   [Side Note: Is Sykes the omen of a bad movie? Evidence Item #1. Evidence Item #2. Evidence Item #3. Evidence Item #4. Evidence Item #5.]
5. Hilarious montage of Carell nearly murdering himself with archaic tools.
6. Many animals pooping on John Goodman – while you're looking for all the spots you need to clean, Nik wonders if you could find your career as well, as its gone missing.
7. Nearly the entire crew from The Daily Show. And sadly, THAT doesn't even make the movie funny.
8. A leaky plot where (SPOILERS), for months, Carell warns of an imminent flood and builds a giant boat to save himself, his family and tons of non-Northern American animals. Then, when the flood isn't produced by rain, but by a dam that fell apart, NO ONE in Congress, or Washington DC, thought that this crazy guy, who said he talked to God, might have BLOWN UP the damn dam? Sheesh... the ONE time we need Homeland Security...
9. A 23% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

All in all, not too shabby for $175M.

Scoot and I both agreed that this wasn't 23% bad. Maybe around 40ish. But to spend that kind of money, have a leading man like Carell, and to NOT produce a half-way decent film? Well, leave it to Hollywood.

Next week we round out the back-to-back Office weeks with *shudder* “License to Wed.”

+ original post date: July 5, 2007 11:07 PM
+ categories: Bad Movie Night