« May 2006 | Main | July 2006 »

June 30, 2006

Sour on Survey Usability

When taking a survey today, I encountered the following usability issue:

Okay, I’ll take some of the blame for not comprehending the question completely... but there’s a bigger issue going on here. As users gain experience on the internet, they’re learning something we call web standards.

A standard in the tangible world would be like knowing you can drive when the light is green, or having to push the up or down button to call the elevator. In other words, things that you do but don’t have to think about doing.

On the web, standards are knowing to click an underlined link to go to another web page, or knowing how to correctly fill out an online form.

Moral of the story... if you want a user to select “the best feature of cable high-speed internet service,” how about you give them radio buttons and not check boxes.

Posted by Seth at 04:30 PM | Comments (3)

June 29, 2006

BMN: Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties

Yes. We dared to go there. Even as Nik stuffed more and more tacos down his throat (in a cheap effort to escape the night’s movie), the horribleness called to us. We couldn’t escape it. The only answer was to embrace it.

Oh, it couldn’t be THAT bad, could it? Uh, yeah, it could. I’m not sure how we missed all of the (nine, for the number of cat’s lives... get it?) warning signs...

Warning Sign #1: The first movie was soooooo good
The first “Garfield” only mustered a 13% on Rotten Tomatoes. How does a movie that bad – 109 out of 126 critics paned it – get a sequel? Here’s how, it made $75M in America alone and it’s budget was approximately $50M. Shocking.

Warning Sign #2: The main cast came back in tact
Wait. The main cast came back? I can understand being hard up for a job, but does it really do you any good to do TWO Garfield movies? Breckin Meyer can you answer that? Jennifer Love Hewitt, how about you? Oh, nevermind, you have that great series on CBS where you talk (whisper) to ghosts. But here’s the big shocker... Bill Murray!?! I’ll never understand why you signed up for the first one. This one must have been a package deal.

Warning Sign #3: There’s a pun in the title
Is there some law that says nearly every kids movie must have a pun in the title somewhere? Or does that only work for sequels? No... no... I’d say nearly every kids movie has a pun somewhere in it. If it’s not in the title, it’s in the movie’s slogan. Does that mean that the movie will suck? No. But when the title can easily get confused with a porn, something’s not right.

Warning Sign #4: The title isn’t original
In this day and age of remake after remake, this isn’t THAT big of a deal. But when you can find three other movies with similar titles, that’s just silly. *slaps forehead* My bad, this movie used the word “tail” instead of “tale.” THAT’S original.

Warning Sign #5: Garfield is computer generated
Seriously, and I think most from my age group area would agree, I would MUCH rather see Garfield as a cartoon with live action or, hell, just a cartoon for 90 minutes. In fact, I’d much rather rent some “Garfield and Friends” and watch that.

Warning Sign #6: Odie wasn’t computer generated
What? Why? If you’re taking the time to make Garfield obviously not real, then you HAVE to make Odie the same way. He was practically a balloon animal dog, you can’t find a dog that looks like him in real life. Wait, I guess you can.

Warning Sign #7: Opening weekend blockbuster
Yeah, this movie was so good that in its first weekend in theaters, it made $7M. That’s a barn-burner! Amazing.

Warning Sign #8: There wasn’t a fart in the previews
Sad, but true... I don’t trust movies that don’t have farts in the trailers anymore.

Warning Sign #9: It only scored a 10% on RT
Yeah, I know, this really isn’t a warning sign so much as it’s a welcome sign. I don’t know if we were more lucky to see this or “Just My Luck.”

If those warning signs weren’t enough for us, then I hope it is for you. I won’t even go into movie specifics, I feel it may be too horrible to relive.

Posted by Seth at 10:28 PM | Comments (3)

June 27, 2006

Using My Bowling Powers for Good

If you didn’t know already, then I’ll tell you now – I’m a bowler. I’m not a great bowler, but my average has gone up each season and my team has won the past four league championships – so that says something.

But I’ve reached a pinnacle in my bowling career. I’ve grown tired with all of the bowling titles. I’m done with bowling for myself. Now it’s time to take my bowling talents and bowl for the kids. To be specific, it’s time to bowl for kids’ sake.

Many of you may think that my bowling powers could do wonders for kids. Sadly, that’s not the case. Picking up spares and striking turkeys won’t help (but it sure will look good), only money will. Well, that’s not true, money DOES help, but the kids really need others to donate their time. This event is for a great cause and will help Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Kansas City out with funding.

Wanna help me (us) out? Check out my sweet Canadian-themed donation page and pledge today! (They seriously need to work on making their page designs better, but, I like Canada.) My goal is $250, but I think we can smash that. I believe the minimum donation is $10, but feel free to donate more (I’m pretty sure it’s tax-deductible, too). Every dollar helps!

Posted by Seth at 09:57 AM | Comments (1)

June 25, 2006

In, Out ... Or Maybe #1 Results

Well the first survey has tallied over 30 entries, not too shabby. We found out many things with this one, like:

But instead of writing it all out, why don't you just check the results for yourself.

And when you're done with that, make sure you go and take In or Out... or Maybe #2!!!

Posted by Seth at 04:46 PM | Comments (0)

June 24, 2006

2008 is in the Futurama (post #350)

In easily the best entertainment news of the year, 20th Century Fox and Matt Groening have reached an agreement to create at least 13 new episodes of Futurama. The episodes will air in 2008 on Comedy Central (who recently acquired the rights to air all 72 previous Futurama episodes after its run ends on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim).

Futurama now joins Family Guy as the second brought-back-to-life cartoon that Fox (at one time) cancelled. Good move Fox, way to recognize good things when you have them. Or wait, just keep pre-empting those shows with football. That makes more sense.

Posted by Seth at 01:02 PM | Comments (2)

June 23, 2006

Oh Samba!

Shoosh, that was tough! I NEVER want to experience anything like that again. Beaches, free drinks, free food, blech... I think I want to stay in KC for the rest of my life and never go anywhere... again.

PSYCHE!!!

I made it back last night, late and exhausted – but it was well worth it. My GF (for those of you acronymly-challanged, GF = girlfriend) and I lounged around for 2+ days at Samba Vallarta, which is in Nuevo Vallarta, Jalisco, Mexico.

Quite simply, it was bad ass.

We had tons of fun and have many stories to tell. I won't bore you with them on my sweet blog, but here are some story titles...

I'm sure there's more, but those come to mind right now.

I've uploaded all of my photos to my flickr account, but you'll need to be considered a “friend” or “family” in order to see them. If you already have an account, just add me as a friend and I'll give you access. If not, you should sign up for an account, because flickr is awesome.

Okay, back to reality. Boooooo!

Posted by Seth at 11:14 AM | Comments (3)

June 19, 2006

"You Boys Ever Been to Mexico!?!"

That’s just one of the many memorable quotes from one of my favorite movies, “Super Troopers.” If the question (the one in the title) were posed to me (without the word “boys,” since I’m only one person), my answer would be no.

But if you asked me that same question (the one I just modified to make a point – see previous sentence) on Thursday, the answer would be yes.

That’s right, I leave today for a little rendezvous in Mexico. To be exact, I’ll be in Puerto Vallarta.

Don’t be jealous, though, because it’ll probably be a dull trip. Who would really enjoy several days on a beach, or lounging next to a pool at an all-inclusive resort? Not this guy.

Just view it as if I was assigned to do this and it’s something I HAVE to do (rolling eyes).

Great. Yippee. See you in a few. Sigh.

Posted by Seth at 07:53 AM | Comments (1)

June 15, 2006

BMN: An American Haunting

History is single-handedly one of my most favorite subjects. I, like many, believe that if we study our past, then maybe we can learn and not make the same mistakes twice. Take example the history of fashion. We looked like absolute idiots in the 80s, so tell me, why did anyone think that acid wash jorts would be cool again? They obviously didn’t study history.

Fittingly enough, Tuesday night’s movie was rooted in American history. “An American Haunting,” is a film that is based on the terrifying true story of a family who is haunted by a spirit and claims to be the only recorded story in American history that chronicles a death caused by haunting.

Yeah, I smell the bs, too.

Seriously, this is based on a true event. The Bell Witch Haunting, which is what this two-year haunting of the Bell family is called, is the subject of over 20 books (I don’t see 20 books here, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t that many out there).

If 20 books have been written about it, then it must be true, right?

Well, if it is, then here’s what history tells us (and by “history,” I mean Hollywood)...

Ghosts can travel through walls. But not doors or windows.
Several times during the film, a ghost would be hauling ass through a house – going in and out of walls whenever it pleased. It was a whole other story when it came to doors. The ghost, spirit, whatever, had to turn the knob to get inside. Luckily, the doors were never locked. Also, ghosts usually leave houses by busting out windows. That can be quite costly.

Ghosts don’t believe in God.
If you are being spooked by a ghost, don’t think that you can get rid of it by reading passages out of a bible, it just won’t work. The ghost will take the bible from you and tear pages out of it.

Checkers is a great drinking game.
Need I elaborate?

Ghosts take on different forms.
Sometimes a ghost will be a wolf, one that just scares you. Sometimes it’ll be a little girl that serves no purpose but to freak you out. And other times, it’ll be completely invisible.

Ghosts can beat you up.
I’m not talking about a ghost-shiv, but they will:

Ghosts exist, witches don’t.
I’m not sure what I believe from this statement, it just goes against my entire belief system.

That’s what history teaches us? Man, I’m glad that I wasn’t alive back in 1818, that’s a LOT to deal with.

While the movie was bad, it definitely wasn’t an 11% like Rotten Tomatoes suggests. The film used very cheap scare tactics (loud noises, quick editing) and had a problem with the ending, but most every thing else wasn’t too bad.

I wouldn’t recommend it, but let’s hope history doesn’t repeat itself in this instance (or, at least not too soon).

Posted by Seth at 06:34 PM | Comments (1)

June 13, 2006

You're Either In or You're Out... or You're Maybe

Look people, it really only boils down to two choices. You’re either in or you’re out. But sometimes you’re maybe. Right? You know what I’m saying? Alright then, let’s put it to the test!

I’m ready to take “In or Out... or Maybe #1.”

This survey is powered by the amazing site called Wufoo. You’ll love it if you’re a techie-geek, like me. Check it out when you have some time.

Posted by Seth at 05:46 PM | Comments (2)

June 07, 2006

BMN: See No Evil

Two weeks ago, we were supposed to go watch “See No Evil,” and it was going to be a gem. Why? Because, at that moment in time, it was the only film we had ever seen on Rotten Tomatoes that had a 0% rating. Yes, zero, zilch, nada. As in, the movie was so bad, that no critic gave it a positive review.

That was then.

Now, after three weeks in theaters, I suppose the movie has magically gotten better. It’s sporting a 6% rating over at RT and boasts three “fresh” reviews out of 50. If you do the math, 3 / 50 = 6. This alarming fact only led us to one question: who in the hell liked this movie? The answer: Chuck Wilson of L.A. WEEKLY, J. R. Jones of the CHICAGO READER and John Beifuss of COMMERCIAL APPEAL.

They should all be fired. Or pointed, and laughed (hysterically), at.

This movie was bad. Granted, it wasn’t “Supercross: The Movie” bad (which had a huge 2% rating on RT), but it was pretty damn awful.

There IS a silver lining, however, and this is a secret that we shouldn’t share with too many people. If you want to make a horror movie – one that gets distributed nationally, and you’re not a WRESTLING-based film production company (note all films listed star a, wait for it, wrestler), then here are the rules you need to follow.

How To Successfully Write/Direct A Crappy Horror Movie (And Still Get It Distributed)

  1. Make a good first impression: This means you need to find a good intro song, say, like the one used in “Se7en.” And while we’re talking about that movie, make the film look all grainy, because grainy = scary.
  2. Have children sing a song: This will absolutely KILL an audience. The younger the kids, the better. If they keep repeating the song, you’re golden. If it can have religious undertones, you’re nearing Oscar territory. And, to top it off, if you play the song during a murder sequence, you could possibly have repeat viewers.
  3. The killer needs a trademark weapon: Machete? Axe? Metal claws? Chainsaw? Nope. Those have all been used. We need something newer, something more fresh. How about a hook. That’s never been done before.
  4. Add in an over-bearing mother figure: All the best horror flicks have done this, so why stray from the pack? We all know moms can be hella crappy, so it only makes sense that some of us will turn into insane killers. Give the audience something they can RELATE to.
  5. If a mom isn’t enough, add in religion: Again, we all know that religion can seriously screw us in the head. If you add this to the mom-factor, you’ll be considered a genius in most circles.
  6. Teenage rule #1: Your film needs to have some young kids in the movie. In fact, center the entire story around them.
  7. Teenage rule #2: At some point in the film, the kids need to either a) strip down, or, b) have sex. Ha, just kidding. Sex and nudity is so 1980s, just show some butts and you’ll be fine.
  8. Teenage rule #3: All teens smoke pot or do some form of drugs. The film won’t be believable if you don’t include it. This is a MUST.
  9. Nonsense plots rule the roost: Most horror flicks have super intricate story lines. Blah blah blah. Don’t bore the audience with this nonsense. Here’s an example of a good plot – Cop has hand chopped off in gruesome accident. Fast forward four years (why four? who cares!). Take a group of teenagers from a detention center to an old abandoned/burned down hotel to clean it up (yes, the hotel has been vacant for 20+ years. yes, all the crap is still inside of it. no, a hazmat team isn’t necessary.). Let the killing ensue.
  10. Speaking of plots, throw in even more nonsense: If the title of the rule doesn’t make sense, how about this – Kill off the one-armed cop within 15 minutes. Uh, maybe one of the supervisors decides to accept a marriage proposal right before getting killed. Oh, and how about you make the bad guy’s head have maggots in it. That makes NO sense, but is PERFECT!!!
  11. Gruesome killings are a MUST: The more gruesome, the better. For example, shove a cell phone down someone’s throat. Know what, forget the killings, just pluck people’s eyes out. That’s pretty sick.
  12. You gotta have a twist: What’s the crazy twist at the end of the film? Everyone will be expecting one. And don’t try to pull something crazy on them, make it simple and predictable. Also, the killer can’t die on the first attempt, everyone knows that.
  13. Don’t show a trailer during the previews that’s better than you’re movie: This is a big time no-no. But you wouldn’t be that stupid, would you?

Those are the rules. I don’t suggest sharing them if you want instant movie-making success. I know I won’t.

As we were leaving the theater, Nik muttered, “I’ve had better proctologist appointments than this movie.” I’m sure you have, Nik, but I won’t be watching them unless it gets a bad rating on RT – you know the rules.

Posted by Seth at 12:17 AM | Comments (1)

June 06, 2006

Ugly Is State Of Mind

We’ve done it now. Us crazy sheep-haters have gone and made UMB a MySpace-like web site promoting their new “ugly room” contest. If you have an ugly room (and don’t mind showing it off to the world), enter the contest for a shot at $10,000.

Sound interesting? Got an ugly room? Want 10k? If so, it’s easy to enter:

  1. Head over to myuglyroom.com.
  2. Sign up for an account.
  3. Create your room profile (you’ll need at least one photo of your room for this).
  4. Submit it for approval.
  5. You’re set.

Make sure you read the rules of the contest. Some of you may not be eligible for the 10k, but all who enter are eligible for the $100 weekly prize. So that’s something worth a few minutes of time.

Hey Mom, for all those times you told me to stop acting ugly... eat it. I made something that’s ugly AND cool.

Posted by Seth at 05:03 PM | Comments (0)

June 04, 2006

(Try To) Check Here If New Address

Remember a couple of months ago, when I moved? I sure do. It’s not like it wasn’t a big deal. I had to pack boxes, rent a moving truck, coerce friends into helping me move all my stuff up two flights of stairs, unpack, and, most importantly, make sure that all of my utilities and bills were notified of my new address.

The easiest way to do that is to make a giant checklist and just go down the list, one-by-one.

Simple enough. And I’ll tell ya, I’d say that works about 99% of the time. The people you owe money to definitely want to keep tabs on you, so it’s in their best interest to make sure they’re open to you changing your address. Remember, that’s only 99% of the time.

The other 1%, also known as State Farm Bank, obviously doesn’t care.

A while back, I opened a new credit card account with State Farm Bank to consolidate debt to a low-interest card. Good idea. Unfortunately, you can’t pay bills online with State Farm Bank (from their web site). Bad idea. That means that I still receive a monthly statement and write them a check.

It took a little bit longer than normal to receive my statement when I first moved. That’s because, even though I had changed my address on their web site, the statement was still sent to my old address. I didn’t think much of it since I had recently moved, surely by the next month it would all be straightened out. But just to make sure, when I sent my payment in, I checked the box that said "check here if new address." I turned the statement over, filled in the new address and sent it in.

The next month brought the same issue. My statement was sent to the old address. This time, I checked the box (sent it in) and even double-checked the web site to make sure the address was correct – it was.

So what happened last month? THE SAME DAMN THING. The statement was sent to my old address. Once again, I checked the web site (new address) and filled out the statement with the new address. This time, I added a Post-it® note that said, “NEW ADDRESS,” and drew an arrow to the address. In addition, I circled the return address on the envelope with a blue Sharpie®, and also marked it, “NEW ADDRESS.”

I’ve yet to receive this month’s statement, but it’s already a few days later than normal (normal being about six months ago). Here’s the odd thing, the past four days in a row, I’ve received address correction slips from State Farm Bank. Here’s the summary of each:

  1. You changed your address from Old Address to New Address – dated 5-25-06
  2. You changed your address from New Address Apt X to New Address #X – dated 5-25-06
  3. You changed your address from Old Address to New Address – dated 5-26-06
  4. You changed your address from New Address Apt X to New Address #X – dated 5-26-06

Yes, you read that correct, two sets of identical “address changes” dated 1.5 weeks ago.

Moral of the story:

  1. State Farm Bank’s web site, and your account there, has no correlation to your bills (even though, when/if you change your password, State Farm Bank sends you a letter saying you did so – that letter comes to your correct address).
  2. If you have insurance AND a credit card account with State Farm, they will send you separate bills to two different addresses (even though, on the State Farm Bank web site, it shows all of your accounts – it knows that you’re spanning accounts, but doesn’t care).
  3. The only way to effectively change your address with State Farm Bank is to either use a Post-it note or a blue Sharpie. Or both.

Posted by Seth at 11:26 AM | Comments (1)