History is single-handedly one of my most favorite subjects. I, like many, believe that if we study our past, then maybe we can learn and not make the same mistakes twice. Take example the history of fashion. We looked like absolute idiots in the 80s, so tell me, why did anyone think that acid wash jorts would be cool again? They obviously didn’t study history.
Fittingly enough, Tuesday night’s movie was rooted in American history. “An American Haunting,” is a film that is based on the terrifying true story of a family who is haunted by a spirit and claims to be the only recorded story in American history that chronicles a death caused by haunting.
Yeah, I smell the bs, too.
Seriously, this is based on a true event. The Bell Witch Haunting, which is what this two-year haunting of the Bell family is called, is the subject of over 20 books (I don’t see 20 books here, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t that many out there).
If 20 books have been written about it, then it must be true, right?
Well, if it is, then here’s what history tells us (and by “history,” I mean Hollywood)...
Ghosts can travel through walls. But not doors or windows.
Several times during the film, a ghost would be hauling ass through a house – going in and out of walls whenever it pleased. It was a whole other story when it came to doors. The ghost, spirit, whatever, had to turn the knob to get inside. Luckily, the doors were never locked. Also, ghosts usually leave houses by busting out windows. That can be quite costly.
Ghosts don’t believe in God.
If you are being spooked by a ghost, don’t think that you can get rid of it by reading passages out of a bible, it just won’t work. The ghost will take the bible from you and tear pages out of it.
Checkers is a great drinking game.
Need I elaborate?
Ghosts take on different forms.
Sometimes a ghost will be a wolf, one that just scares you. Sometimes it’ll be a little girl that serves no purpose but to freak you out. And other times, it’ll be completely invisible.
Ghosts can beat you up.
I’m not talking about a ghost-shiv, but they will:
Ghosts exist, witches don’t.
I’m not sure what I believe from this statement, it just goes against my entire belief system.
That’s what history teaches us? Man, I’m glad that I wasn’t alive back in 1818, that’s a LOT to deal with.
While the movie was bad, it definitely wasn’t an 11% like Rotten Tomatoes suggests. The film used very cheap scare tactics (loud noises, quick editing) and had a problem with the ending, but most every thing else wasn’t too bad.
I wouldn’t recommend it, but let’s hope history doesn’t repeat itself in this instance (or, at least not too soon).
+ original post date: June 15, 2006 06:34 PM
+ categories: Bad Movie Night