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December 29, 2006

I Was Karaoke’d

I’ve never understood the allure of Karoke. In my estimation, people generally fall into two Karoke categories – the ones who think they can sing (but can’t) and the ones who can really sing (and make everyone else look lame). So usually you have the serious people in the crowd that do it week after week – the regulars... then you have the drunk goobers that thinks it’s funny to go up and sing 50 Cent (which, it kinda is funny). How those two crowds get along with each other is beyond me.

Like I mentioned, I don’t understand why people like to get up on stage and sing songs that aren’t theirs. I don’t think I’m a bad singer, nor do I shy away from publicness, but I’ve never had the urge to get up on stage. It’s probably because I’m a little cynical. Well, last night I did something that I never thought I would do in my lifetime. I sang Karaoke with Scoot, Bevron and Shaun at Winslow’s City Market Barbeque.

After dinner and a few beers, the group dragged me up on stage and we all sang “Take Me Home, Country Roads.” It’s said that all you have to do is sing one Karaoke song and you’re hooked. While I wasn’t all that hooked, Aaron and I came through on a long-running joke and teamed up to sing “Ghostbusters.”

I had fun, but, last night’s was Scoot’s to steal. In easily one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a very long time, we somehow convinced Scoot to go up on stage and sing a song from “The Phantom of the Opera.” Not only did he sing the song (with some nice back-up from Shaun), but he also wore a torn napkin on his face, as to look more like the Phantom himself.

I don’t know if I’ll make Winslow’s a weekly stop, but I guess it’s safe to say that I’m not opposed to singing anymore.

Posted by Seth at 02:58 PM | Comments (1)

December 26, 2006

2006: My Site in Review

Here we are, only five days to go in 2006. It’s insane to me, it really feels like ’06 started just a few weeks ago, not 51. As many TV shows, magazines and web sites do, I think I should reflect on the past year and what happened in my small world. Aside from moving again, going on snowboard trip #3, and getting three sinus infections, I wrote over 100 entries this year, and here are my favorites:

Web 2.0h You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me
I became nearly completely immersed in Web 2.0 this year, but quickly figured out what a can of worms it all is. I think soon we’ll finally begin to see a compression of Web 2.0 sites, but not soon enough.

I Shame The Name “Gunderson”
I was told by a passer-by that I was super lame. :(

When Celebrities and Realities Collide
Tired of seeing reality show after reality show become popular, I finally make my opinion known about how I feel about the whole genre.

AT&T “_________ delivered” Billboards
This may be my favorite post of the year. The AT&T billboards were, and still are, ridiculous... making them an easy target.

(Try To) Check Here If New Address
Is it so hard to have up-to-date technology on your banking web site? Obviously so.

USA Basketball is Sexy!
A giant penis on a basketball court. How could that NOT be funny?

BMN: Little Man
I reviewed 10 bad movies this year. Out of those reviews, this was my favorite movie to pan. A close second was BMN: See No Evil.


And there you have it, my favorite posts of the year. I’m looking forward to 2007 and a new web site design... oooooooo.

Posted by Seth at 10:03 PM | Comments (0)

December 19, 2006

We <3 Holiday Sweaters


http://weloveholidaysweaters.wehatesheep.com/

Posted by Seth at 09:15 AM | Comments (0)

December 16, 2006

My Favorite 10 Video Games Evar (post #400)

More and more recently, I’ve been wishing that I had more time to “game.” I keep hearing about these new video games that are coming out, and while some sound like an updated version of previous classics, there’s something about seeing that new loading screen for the first time that is a neat feeling. So this itch to play games more has led me to think of my ten all-time favorite games – dating all the way back to when I owned my first Nintendo.

10. Street Fighter II (Arcade)
Did this game ever open a can of worms... this is the first game I truly remember becoming addicted to in a Mall setting. I don’t recall a game before it’s time where actual strategies were planned and different styles were applied for game play. My friends and I would stay in the arcade for hours, switching out in between rounds, while person after person would try to beat us. Favorite characters: Chun-Li or Blanka.

9. Tetris (almost any platform)
This is my ultimate zone-out game. I can do nearly anything while playing this game. It’s one of those games where you don’t have to think about it, you just have to do it. And, still today, I can’t get that theme music out of my head.

8. Ms. Pac-Man (Arcade)
Pac-Man was slow, formulaic and a guy. But the misses... hubba hubba. She was fast, sleek and totally un-predictable. Talk about fun. While you couldn’t learn a pattern for this game (unlike its predecessor), this game’s speed is an addiction waiting to happen. If I go to a bar where there’s a Ms. Pac-Man in a corner, I’ll somehow fashion a quarter MacGyver style to play, if I have to.

7. Super Mario 64 (Nintendo 64)
It’s hard to put this on here instead of the original, but the original was so before its time – and its all we had then, so that’s too easy. This was the first real big re-imagining of Super Mario, finally set in a 3D environment. I really can’t tell you what stood out about this game (as all of the Marios are starting to blend these days), but I can say that I played this for weeks on end, until it was beaten.

6. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarnia of Time (Nintendo 64)
What I said about Mario above, applies here, too. Uh, a freakin’ 3D Zelda!?! I’m in! The first game I can remember where you’re locking onto your enemies with a target-lock? Holy crap. Wait, I can change what button does what!?! Dear lord, I’m in heaven.

5. EA Sports NCAA Football ’05 (Nintendo GameCube)
This is one of my more recent addictions. I’ve always thought that college football is way more fun to watch than the NFL, so that’s a plus. But here you can be any one of the 115ish teams in America, play a full season, go to a bowl game, win awards, and then recruit your next class. There’s mocking the crowd, stadium loudness and the players get rattled. Almost better than the real thing (because you can win a lot more)

4. Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater (Nintendo 64)
This was one of the first games I remember that took reality and made it pretty unrealistic, but insanely fun. Sure I can do seven kick flips while jumping a 30 set, no problem. What’s that? You want me to grind around the entire lip of a pool four times? Easy. Wall ride UP a building? Child’s play. Skate or Die, T&C Surf Designs, we salute you. Tony Hawk, we worship you.

3. Advance Wars (GameBoy Advance)
I’ve always enjoyed strategy games, but I’ve never felt the need to strain my eyes on a three-inch wide screen to do so. This game, while pretty simplistic in design and execution, had me buying AA batteries like they weren’t being made anymore.

2. Tecmo Super Bowl (Nintendo)
Why call it Tecmo Bowl, when it should really be called Tecmo Bo – because of Bo Jackson. This game flat out ruled. It’s the first head-to-head game I loved to play. And it was usually a rush to see who would get the Raiders, and after that, could your defense pick the right play to stop the other team. Most likely, not.

1. 007 Goldeneye (Nintendo 64)
First person shooter. Strafing. Aiming. All new to the gaming mix. A story line that follows a fun Bond movie. Plus the ability to go head-to-head-to-head-to-head... this is gold, and it was the game that we played for nearly a year in college. It became a challenge to win the game faster than anyone else. It became an addiction to whoop everyone’s ass with grenade launchers in the complex.

Honorable Mentions:
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Walker (One of the better Zeldas, cartooy + huge world = hours wasted), The Legend of Zelda (You can’t knock the original, still get lost in the forest to this day), Gauntlet (Elf needs food, badly), Baseball Stars (The first game I could ever make a custom team with, very cool), Contra (Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a, start – ’nuff said), Super Mario Bros. (Did anyone ever make it out of the Minus World?).

What are your favorite games of all time?

Posted by Seth at 08:48 AM | Comments (7)

December 09, 2006

The Blueprint of Tool

Nestled on the southeastern tip of the Plaza, there’s this very pretentious snobby upscale bar shit hole night club in Kansas City called Blonde. It’s the kind of place that has a line to get in. It’s the kind of place where you sometimes can’t get in because the bouncer at the door doesn’t like the way you look. It’s the kind of place where you hop in, do a line of coke off of some chick’s breasts, then stand around like the guys in “A Night at the Roxbury.”

It’s packed, shoulder to shoulder. Everyone, for the most part, is dressed extremely well. There’s a DJ booth in the front and a private area upstairs with couches. There’s a men’s and women’s restroom, and in between there are two single restrooms that have see-through doors that become opaque when you lock the door. Inside the women’s restroom, there’s a basket full of condoms that say, “protect thy pussy,” with a illustration of a cat on it.

Needless to say, it’s my kind of place.

While the above statement isn’t true, I had the opportunity to visit this fine establishment last night with a group of friends for an Ad Club event. We stayed there for one drink, but Blonde offered up the experience I was hoping for. Once we were there, my friends hopped in line to get drinks, so I headed down to the bathroom. The minute I stepped in, a guy (we’ll call him Toolman, for this exercise) who was urinating turns to me and says...

Toolman: Yo. What’s up bro?

Me: Not much. Man this place is weird.

Toolman: What do you mean, man?

[ Okay Seth, you just learned that Toolman LOVES this place. You’re not in your element, don’t do things to agitate the locals. Blend in! ]

Me: I dunno, it’s the first time I’ve been here... it’s just weird.

Toolman: Yeah, I know, there are a lot of stuck up bitches out there.

[ Did he really just say bitches? ]

Me: Wha?

Toolman: Yeah man, there a LOT of stuck up bitches up there, they think they’re the shit.

[ Just play along, dude... ]

Me: Oh yeah? Tell me about it.

Toolman: Dude, there’s this one girl that I used to date up there, and yesterday was her birthday.

Me: Really?

Toolman: Pssh. Yeah. So I went up to her and I was all like, “yo, happy birthday,” and stuff. Man, whatever.

[ I don’t even know what that means! Is he REALLY still peeing? ]

Me: Sheesh man, that’s crazy.

Toolman: Yeah, I know. Well, I’ll catch up with you later.

Me: Ok, see ya.

----------
So I met Toolman. At first I thought this guy was playing around, but that wasn’t the case. Sadly, it also wasn’t my only interaction with him. Once I went back upstairs to get my drink, there was Toolman, front and center.
----------

Toolman: Hey man! My name is Toolman (edited for privacy).

[ What do I say? I can’t tell him a fake name, someone will call me by my real name and he’ll get pissed... ]

Me: I’m Seth.

Toolman: Cool. Who you here with?

Me: Oh, I know a few people around here somewhere.

[ If I start to look away, maybe he’ll leave... ]

Toolman: Cool, cool.

[ He’s not leaving... ]

Me: Oh, there they are... I think we’re going upstairs. I think the bar is open up there.

Toolman: Right on. It’s not open, but let’s go up there.

----------
At this point I wasn’t too sure what Toolman’s intentions were...
----------

Toolman: So what do you do, man?

Me: I’m in advertising.

Toolman: Right on.

[ An obvious bait, okay, I’ll bite... ]

Me: Uh, what about you?

Toolman: What’s that?

Me: What do you do?

Toolman: Oh, I’m a coach. I coach basketball. We just had a game.

Me: Cool. My dad used to coach. Did you win?

Toolman: Oh, yeah.

[ Bruno, someone, anyone... save me... ]

Toolman: See that girl over there? That’s the one I dated. Man, fuck that shit.

Me: I see.

[ Ew, he’s leaning in to tell me something! ]

Toolman: See man, 41’s not it.

Me: Huh?

Toolman: Think about it. If you’re 41, not married and have no kids, that should be an sign.

[ wtf? ]

Me: Oh?

Toolman: Pssh, yeah. She’s fucking crazy.

[ sigh... yes, Bruno, save me! ]

Bruno: Hey, what’s up?

Me: Not much... this is Toolman.

Toolman: Hey. So I met this hot bitch the other day.

[ Here we go... ]

Bruno: Yeah?

[ No, Bruno, don’t encourage him... ]

Toolman: Yeah, she was some stylist or something. And I’m all like, “fuck yeah I’ll let you cut my hair,&rdquo and shit.

Bruno: Sweet.

Me: Yeah, sweet.

Toolman: Man, we should go mingle. That’s what we’re here for!

Me: You go ahead, I’m going to stay here.

Toolman: Cool, I’ll check you later.

----------
This was becoming painful. Blonde was bad enough, but this guy was cornering me and I wasn’t enjoying myself one bit. We watched from above as he “mingled,” and by mingle, we mean talk to more dudes.
----------

Toolman: So who are you here with?

Me: Oh, about seven people, there all around here somewhere.

Toolman: I think I want to talk to that girl, what do you think?

[ Geez dude, that’s my friend, I wouldn’t wish that upon my enemy... ]

Me: Heh, no.

Toolman: Pssh, yeah, I hear ya. So I know this guy who plans events.

[ Name dropping now? ]

Me: That’s cool did h---

Toolman: He’s planning some big New Year’s thing at Californos.

Me: Wow. How much are those tickets?

Toolman: Maaaaan, I dunno. Probably like $80 or something.

Me: Whoa!

Bruno: But you’re getting in for free, since you know the guy, right?

Toolman: Hell yeah.

Bruno: Not us, we don’t know anyone.

Me: Yeah, we suck.

Toolman: Let’s go talk to some bitches.

Me: Naw, I’m good.

Toolman: Cool, I’ll be right back.

----------
I really didn’t want to talk to Toolman anymore and Bruno was definitely done with him. That’s when I realized this COULD be fun. So I put myself in Jim’s position (a la The Office) and prepared for Toolman to return. It didn’t take too long.
----------

Me: So, who you got your eyes on?

Toolman: Pssh, man, it’s whatever.

Me: I know. I see a few here... maaaan, hot!

Toolman: I’ll tell you what, it’s not what it’s cracked up to be.

[ Everyone is trying to get me to come over, but I can’t leave now! ]

Me: Right. Wait, what?

Toolman: Love, man. It ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Me: Tell me about it. That’s why I just pump and dump. Ya know?

Toolman: Yeah, I hear ya.

Me: You know, just pump ’em and dump ’em. It’s silly.

Toolman: Hey man... I don’t get the playing field confused with the sidelines. I gotta get back out there.

Me: Sweet. We’ll we’re outtie. Get some!

Toolman: See ya.


And that was my experience at Blonde. Yes, those guys really do exist and if you think they get the playing field confused with the sidelines, think again, brother... think again.

Posted by Seth at 10:29 AM | Comments (8)

Pinball Widget Wizard

That’s what Dbag called me, a “Widget Wizard.” I don’t think that’s true, but I have now had four widgets published in the past year (three for SHS and one for fun), so that’s pretty cool. Here’s the latest:

Helzberg Diamonds Snow Globe
Basically, it’s a snow globe widget that counts down the days until Christmas. The cool part, it snows when you click on it. The even cooler part, you can upload your photo into it. Rock and roll. (Don’t have a Mac or OS X 10.4? Get the Yahoo! version.)

Virtual Fruitcake
An idea from Aaron made this a quick turnaround. This widget does pretty much what you expect it to do – nothing. You’ll have it on your desktop for a while and then, finally realizing that you’re never going to do anything with it, you’ll throw it away. Genius.

As always, these things usually don’t happen on their own, nor can I do all of these by myself. I have help. Bruno and I came up with the Snow Globe. Aaron and I collaborated on the Fruitcake. And Kevin programmed them both. Thanks fellas!

Widget Wizard, out!

Posted by Seth at 08:03 AM | Comments (1)

December 01, 2006

Spam Bets: Conclusion

The other day I posted an entry with the question, “how long will it take a spammer to find an email address on my web site and send spam to it?” Some readers took a shot at guessing how long it would take (without going over), with the winner collecting a special DVD from my personal collection.

Here are the guesses:

Yesterday, November 30th, 2006 at 7:17 PM, I received my first spam message from the IP address 81.208.74.191, which is tied to an organization called Fastweb (apparently I won something from the MEGAMILLION E-MAIL COMPUTER LOTTERY).

That makes the official time two days, seven hours and 56 minutes. Which means Dustin wins. Noice jorb. Your CD will be in the mail at some point, along with some junk mail.

Posted by Seth at 01:51 PM | Comments (4)