July19

BMN: Little Man

With their follow up to “White Chicks” (13% on Rotten Tomatoes), the Wayans decided to aim higher by earning more in its first weekend and maybe garner some better reviews. Mission accomplished. “Little Man” blasted WC out of the water, earning $21 Million its first weekend (compared to WC’s $19M) and a 16% rating!

That’s outstanding!

This was the most attended Bad Movie Night ever (by normal audience members), but only because the movie came out last weekend. It’s very rare that we see a movie this bad, this soon. The movie itself was, well, bad. I didn’t even chuckle until about five minutes into the film, and a small one was all I could muster. I guess I didn’t really ever figure out what was so funny during this movie (though some of the audience were nearly falling down into the aisles during some scenes).

It’s really not worth going into here about all the silliness the movie had to offer. So instead, why don’t we look into a crystal ball and guess what the next movies the Wayans will be.

Dope Martians
In this film, the Wayans dress up, and act, as marijuana-addicted aliens who come to Earth looking for brides. The two stumble upon foster sisters (one white and the other black) and in typical fish-out-of-water tradition, hilarity ensues.

Get Off Me, Dawg
Marlon Wayans stars as B.J., a gay male who’s recently been magically turned into a dog. In another crazy turn of events, his old high school nemesis is also turned into a dog, and the two team up to try and figure out how they’ll return to human form... before it’s too late!

Pimps, The Ride
While in college, Skeeter "Nerd" Samuels is working diligently on his science project, while his brother, Tucker "Star" Samuels is too busy playing video games and pimping out his car. One night, the project goes horribly wrong. The Wayan brothers return in this coming of age comedy about two twin brothers who find themselves trapped inside the soul of a car.

Life Really Sucks
In a surprise return to the Wayans film franchise, Damon Wayans teams up with Shawn Wayans in a crazy 50s adventure. Huey Haroldson (Damon), a door-to-door salesman, is cursed by Zander, a budding gypsy (Shawn). Unfortunately, the curse backfires and Zander is turned into a vacuum cleaner. Huey must help Zander break the curse before he ends up sucking for the rest of his life.

How Many Licks
In their most critically acclaimed film to date, the Wayans brothers create a movie like none ever seen before. The entire Wayans family stars as a group of Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop brothers and the film follows their journey from creation all the way to being consumed.

...

You heard it here, first. By the way, all of these screenplays are now patent-pending, so don’t even try it.

UPDATE: To prove this was such a bad movie, Little Man has become the fastest entrant into IMDB’s Bottom 100 (that means, not good).

+ original post date: July 19, 2006 09:30 PM
+ categories: Bad Movie Night

comments3

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Holy crap. I just pissed a little in my pants.

+ author: dustin
+ posted: July 20, 2006 08:57 AM

Ha! Seth, you should be writing the one sheets for every Wayans Bros. movie from now on. I think "Get Off Me, Dawg" holds the most promise.

+ author: Jonathan
+ posted: July 20, 2006 01:44 PM

"damm, girl"- in this, the first drama from the wayans bros, bert and weedsmoke learn that relationships can be for the birds. newly married bert must learn to deal with his wife always being up in his "buisness", while weedsmoke falls for a sexy medical student and struggles over cleaning up his act and late night tbs movies. tragically, everyone is killed by a weed smoking meteroite.

intended to be a drama, it ends up being their funniest movie.

+ author: jones
+ posted: July 20, 2006 07:55 PM

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