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July 30, 2006

Housecleaning

As bloggers tend to do from time to time, I’m going to take a small hiatus from writing on the site. I could come back with a new design, we’ll just have to see about that. I’m sorry to say that means no BMN posts, either. Unless I get a wild hair up my boo-tay, don’t expect much to come out of my mouth. I’ll be back soon. Stop being a wuss.

Posted by Seth at 10:04 AM | Comments (1)

July 27, 2006

BMN: You, Me and Dupree

Was I surprised? Well, yes, I was. I didn’t expect a movie that starred Owen Wilson to end up being a Bad Movie Night selection – at least for another couple of years. It’s not just Owen Wilson that I didn’t expect, but it’s the notion that a Frat Pack (hereby referred to as FP) movie was considered so bad that we ended up spending a night viewing and trashing it.

Yet here it was. The release of “You, Me and Dupree,” has marked the first major blemish on the FP’s reputation. Weighing in at a measly 20% on RT made me ask the question, “is the honeymoon already over,” before I even saw the movie.

When viewing the trailers for the movie, I never thought it was going to be comedic gold, but I also didn’t think it was going to be a 20%. Granted, it’s no “Will Ferrell as a NASCAR driver,” but can everything the FP does be that way? No, that’s glaringly obvious. But here’s the kicker, when a movie like this makes $21M its first weekend, it’s hard to argue with the results. That said, be ready for more and more movies like this until we can’t shake money from the tree.

So was it a 20%? In my opinion, no, not at all. It didn’t come close to a 50%, but I could see it hovering around the 33% mark – one in three people had to like it. What made it so bad?

Owen Wilson starred as... Owen Wilson... again
As funny and charismatic as a broken-nosed actor can be, how many time do we have to see the same character in movie after movie (that AREN’T sequels)? I feel that Wilson is on the verge of being the next Jeff Goldblum or Helen Hunt. I don’t care how funny or quirky you are, you HAVE to switch it up every now and then.

I’ve seen this story-line before
Flashback a few years to “Meet the Parents” and you’ll notice a very similar plot. Oh, but I guess it’s okay to do that since Wilson and Ben Stiller are friends. Plus, they switched the plot up a whole lot, kinda. It wasn’t the weird, kinda-off, guy meeting the parents, it was the normal guy (with the weird, kinda-off, friend) fighting with the overbearing dad. It’s the same, but different!!!

Nobody cares about Matt Dillon
Should I explain? No? You’re good? Dillon’s bad? Cool.

No ad-libbing?
Something the FP seems extremely well at doing is ad-libbing a majority of their movie. Why waste time scripting something when you can create on the fly. This wasn’t present at all in this film. It felt overly scripted and very forced in parts, and that took away from some of the potential genuineness that comes through in ad-libbing.

The other guys didn’t seem to like the movie like I did. Now I won’t go see the movie again, nor will I rent it went it hits DVD, but it wasn’t a 20%, nor was it a worthy BMN selection – I remember laughing many times. I didn’t take the movie seriously (which no one should if Wilson is involved). I didn’t see what was so bad about the movie, someone please enlighten me.

Posted by Seth at 11:56 PM | Comments (2)

July 21, 2006

In, Out ... Or Maybe #2 Results

This is becoming fun and before you know it, I’ll be selling all of your statistical data to Gallup. You’ll see. The second survey only tallied 23 entries (so far), which means that our findings aren’t totally accurate. So what do we know?

You could just check the results for yourself.

And when you’re done with that, make sure you go and take In or Out... or Maybe #3!!!

Posted by Seth at 11:21 AM | Comments (1)

July 19, 2006

BMN: Little Man

With their follow up to “White Chicks” (13% on Rotten Tomatoes), the Wayans decided to aim higher by earning more in its first weekend and maybe garner some better reviews. Mission accomplished. “Little Man” blasted WC out of the water, earning $21 Million its first weekend (compared to WC’s $19M) and a 16% rating!

That’s outstanding!

This was the most attended Bad Movie Night ever (by normal audience members), but only because the movie came out last weekend. It’s very rare that we see a movie this bad, this soon. The movie itself was, well, bad. I didn’t even chuckle until about five minutes into the film, and a small one was all I could muster. I guess I didn’t really ever figure out what was so funny during this movie (though some of the audience were nearly falling down into the aisles during some scenes).

It’s really not worth going into here about all the silliness the movie had to offer. So instead, why don’t we look into a crystal ball and guess what the next movies the Wayans will be.

Dope Martians
In this film, the Wayans dress up, and act, as marijuana-addicted aliens who come to Earth looking for brides. The two stumble upon foster sisters (one white and the other black) and in typical fish-out-of-water tradition, hilarity ensues.

Get Off Me, Dawg
Marlon Wayans stars as B.J., a gay male who’s recently been magically turned into a dog. In another crazy turn of events, his old high school nemesis is also turned into a dog, and the two team up to try and figure out how they’ll return to human form... before it’s too late!

Pimps, The Ride
While in college, Skeeter "Nerd" Samuels is working diligently on his science project, while his brother, Tucker "Star" Samuels is too busy playing video games and pimping out his car. One night, the project goes horribly wrong. The Wayan brothers return in this coming of age comedy about two twin brothers who find themselves trapped inside the soul of a car.

Life Really Sucks
In a surprise return to the Wayans film franchise, Damon Wayans teams up with Shawn Wayans in a crazy 50s adventure. Huey Haroldson (Damon), a door-to-door salesman, is cursed by Zander, a budding gypsy (Shawn). Unfortunately, the curse backfires and Zander is turned into a vacuum cleaner. Huey must help Zander break the curse before he ends up sucking for the rest of his life.

How Many Licks
In their most critically acclaimed film to date, the Wayans brothers create a movie like none ever seen before. The entire Wayans family stars as a group of Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop brothers and the film follows their journey from creation all the way to being consumed.

...

You heard it here, first. By the way, all of these screenplays are now patent-pending, so don’t even try it.

UPDATE: To prove this was such a bad movie, Little Man has become the fastest entrant into IMDB’s Bottom 100 (that means, not good).

Posted by Seth at 09:30 PM | Comments (3)

July 18, 2006

Adobe CS-Screwy

Getting new (or updates to) software is one of the silliest, yet coolest, feelings a tech nerd can have. There’s nothing quite like unwrapping the box, plopping that cd (or dvd) into your computer’s drive and installing whatever new program. Then there’s the first time you run the program. You get to search through the preferences, customize it to your likeness and then, more times than not, close it without doing anything.

After all that, it’s pretty much run of the mill. You may encounter some new quirks or old shortcuts that are missing, but for the most part, the excitement is gone.

Recently, the agency I work at finally made the upgrade to Adobe Creative Suite 2. For designers and illustrators alike, getting the newest Adobe stuff is near euphoric. The crummy thing about my computer in this situation is that I work on a PC, while the rest of the agency is on Mac. So when everyone else was getting their new version of CS2, I was sitting there, waiting a few extra days because my copy wasn’t ordered.

Last Friday, I finally got my PC version of the software and I decided to make time to install it.

I’ve never been more frustrated installing software in my life...

First, Adobe recommends that you un-install CS1, if it’s already on your computer. I’m not sure why it needs to do that, maybe to free up space on your computer, but couldn’t that just be a part of the installing process? Okay, whatever, done.

Next begins the 4-disc installation. Wait, did I just say 4-disc? Yes. That means if you have a meeting that you need to attend and you’d like to install the software during, you can’t just leave your computer. You have to be there to make sure the next disc is ready to go when it prompts you.

I sat for 1.5 hours while the software installed on my computer. That time period gave me Adobe Photoshop® CS2, Adobe Illustrator® CS2, Adobe InDesign® CS2, Adobe Acrobat® 7.0 Professional, Version Cue CS2, Adobe Bridge and Adobe Stock Photos. I didn’t include Adobe GoLive® CS2 in the installation since I don’t use it, but I could easily see another 15 minutes being tacked on for that.

Then came the updates. As if it wasn’t enough for me to sit nearly two hours for the initial install, I had to wait another hour for all of the new software to download updates (some critical, some not) and install those.

That entire process took nearly 3 hours of my work day. It’s not like you can do other work while that’s going on, either. You don’t want to tie up system resources while your computer is churning and trying to get things going for you. Plus, let’s not forget about the restarting of your system once certain things are in place. One question for Adobe, why does nearly every installer look different?

But it wasn’t over yet.

Adobe Acrobat is the worlds most annoying software. Acrobat is by far one of the most under-utilized, yet over-robust pieces of software I’ve ever seen. I’d venture to say that 97% of the world uses Acrobat for one thing, viewing PDFs, the rest aren’t sure what it can do. But that’s not the issue here. The issue is that once I installed Acrobat, there were eight (8) updates for it. Not only that, but you can’t install update two without installing update one. And after each successful installation of an update, you have to restart your computer.

What? Acrobat requires that I restart my machine. THEN once it’s back up and running, it tells me that there is another update to install. So you install it, and then... yup, restart again.

Then you realize that some of the newer updates contain the previous updates (but it’s really small type, so you don’t notice it too easily). But if you install update #8, updates 6, 7 and 8 still show up in your list of available updates. Huh?

Please, someone, anyone, shed some light on this for me:

  1. Why isn’t CS2 offered up on DVD?
  2. If CS2 came out several months ago, why not create new installer discs with all of the updated versions?
  3. Why does Acrobat require so many damn restarts?
  4. And while we’re talking about Acrobat, instead of listing 8 updates, why can’t we put them all into one?

At least I’ve got CS2 now, right?

Posted by Seth at 10:19 AM | Comments (4)

July 16, 2006

T-Minus 365

Last night, The New Tragedies hosted my “Three Hundred Sixty-Six Days Until I’m 30” Party and I couldn’t be more thankful. To throw a party at your place for yourself is one thing, but to open your doors to your friends for someone else is downright humbling. Lots of friends and co-workers showed up, it was a blast. Thanks to everyone who supported my 29th.

Today is my birthday. I’m officially 29, which means that the only thing that happens this year is a countdown until next year’s birthday – when I’ll be 30 (just in case you couldn’t do the math).

I honestly don’t feel any apprehension towards getting older because I can do nothing to stop it. So why worry? I feel great (maybe a bit out of shape) so I can’t complain. In fact, I feel that every year I get older (and still feel good), I somewhat justify the fact that I’m not whatever age I was. No way am I 28 anymore, I’m 29, and it’s cool!

There it is, I’m 29. Nothing I can do about it now. As of today, there are officially 168 days remaining in 2006. It also marks the final 365 days of my 20s. It should be a good year.

And so it begins.

Posted by Seth at 10:47 AM | Comments (8)

July 15, 2006

Horses Finally Out-Do Bikes

One of the main themes of “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" is the notion that emerging technologies are starting to take over the world. What once was a stable facet is being pushed aside for the next big thing. In the case of the movie, horses (the main mode of transportation during that time period) is being pushed out by bicycles – which is really a metaphor for the demise of Cassidy and the Kid.

In current ESPN news, bicycles are getting killed in the coverage department by the very animal they took place of way back when.

For the past two weeks, at least, Babaro news has been ranked higher than news from the Tour de France. I don’t mean that more people are reading it, I just mean that it’s higher on the page – which users might equate with being deemed more important.

Wait. Think about it. The world’s greatest race is getting a better news push than a horse that broke its leg and might die? Wow, I guess Lance Armstrong was the only thing worth watching in that race.

If you ask me, this is incredibly stupid.

The Tour de France is an insanely grueling race that gathers 170+ of the world’s most enduring athletes. It takes three weeks to complete and the riders will ride over 2,200 miles (nearly equaling the minimum amount of lapsed miles to get an oil change). The race saw Lance Armstrong win the previous seven in a row and this year several of the top riders were suspended for doping before the race even started. This will be the most wide open Tour in many years, but apparently we’re not too concerned with that.

No, we’d rather check in on the condition of a former race horse who has a fatal foot disease. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an animal lover and I dislike seeing animals in pain. But is this really ESPN headline worthy? Yes Barbaro was the latest horse that had a good shot at winning the Triple Crown, but he didn’t. Now he’s ill and could die, which sucks. I understand that these race horses lead good lives and even though some may become hurt/ill, it’s important to keep them alive, if to just keep their genetic line going. But to get headlines up higher than the Tour de France? Please.

My advice: the doctors best take some steed sperm before they taste a hint of Barbaro in their next serving of Jell-O.

UPDATE:
Even ESPN’s own are calling them out for this silly coverage.

Posted by Seth at 03:59 PM | Comments (0)

July 13, 2006

On the Bad Side of Good Customer Service

I wake up on Tuesday morning and head into my normal routine. Get up, check email, eat breakfast, shower, get ready for work and fix my lunch. On this particular Tuesday, I felt like I was missing an early meeting at work, so I check my work schedule... nothing. Shaking off the bad mojo, I grab my keys and wallet and start heading for the door.

Then it hits me, I’m already two minutes late for my dentist appointment.

I run down the stairs to my car and start speeding up north towards my destination. Once inside the car, I call the dentist’s office to let them know that I’m running late.

“Hi, my name is Seth Gunderson and I’m late for my appointment,” I blab into the phone.

“Oh no problem, we’ll see you when you get here,” the kind receptionist says to me.

No matter how un-urgent she tried to make the situation sound, I was still hauling ass. Perhaps, however, too much ass-hauling was taking place... while rounding a curve, I failed to notice the speed trap set up on the highway. I got a speeding ticket. 70 in a 55 – not too bad, but that didn’t help my already being late.

It didn’t take too long to get the ticket, and after four minutes, I was back on my way.

So I’m nearing the end of my drive and my phone rings...

“Hello,” I said, knowing it was the dentist’s office.

“Yes, are you actually coming in today,” asked the receptionist?

“Yeah. I got a speeding ticket, but I’m one minute away.”

“Well... uh, hang on............yeah, we’re going to have to reschedule your appointment.”

“What?”

“It wouldn’t be fair to our other patients. We’ll call you back to schedule another time.”

I. Was. Pissed.

I’ll be the absolute first person to say it, I was late. If I weren’t late, this would’ve never happened. I take the blame for the ticket AND the need to reschedule the appointment.

But... you don’t call someone and ask where they’re at, hear that they got a speeding ticket trying to make it there and then tell them that you’re rescheduling when they’re TWO BLOCKS AWAY FROM YOUR OFFICE!!!

Yes, I was late. Yes, it was my fault. But the first time I call, couldn’t you ask how far away you are from the office? Couldn’t you say that if you can’t make it here by X time, then we should just try again some other time? I was in the car for 50+ minutes since I was told to turn around, that’s the LAST thing you want to hear when you’ve just received a speeding ticket.

This is a dentist that I love. A dentist that I’ve never been late to. A dentist that I’ve paid all my bills on time for. And it’s a dentist I’ve referred several friends to.

I appreciate the concern for your other patients, really I do, you don’t see that a lot these days. But throw me some slack!!!

Posted by Seth at 10:25 PM | Comments (11)