My Asteroids Hurt

I recently saw one of this summer's blockbuster movies, "The Day After Tommorow." It was an okay flick, rooting a majority of it's story on fact, while embellishing the details quite a bit. The acting in the movie was suspect at best, and the story - though filled with holes - was so-so, but the effects (minus the wolves) were spectacular. All, in all, not bad... but it was the marketing machine behind this movie that made it so much money. Ahhhh, the power of marketing.

Today, I was flipping channels on tv, and ran across a movie made in 1998 called "Ice." It's a Sci-Fi Channel Original, which means low budget. The story goes like this (taken from scifi.com):

Following a devastating natural disaster, Earth's northern hemisphere plunges into a new ice age that drops temperatures to 70 degrees below zero. As civilization breaks down and havoc erupts, a group of Los Angeles residents attempts to escape the city via ship in the hope of reaching warmth on the other side of the equator.

Sounds familiar. What's worse is a scene where people trapped inside a building are trying to stay warm. To do so, they decide to burn books. While grabbing a stack of books to burn, one man refuses to burn several of the books handed to him because of their meaning to civilization. Hmmmmm... Emmerich (director of "The Day After Tomorrow"), correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't there a scene similar to this in YOUR movie? Nah, couldn't be.

And, as if there isn't enough doom and gloom on the Sci-Fi Channel, tonight a new Sci-Fi Original airs:

It's "The Day After Tomorrow" tonight! After an asteroid strike throws the entire northern hemisphere into a new ice age, a family man tries to use a top-secret, experimental satellite to locate his missing wife and daughter. Unfortunately, there are those more than willing to kill to keep the satellite's true nature to themselves.

What is it with this whole "new ice age" concept that has movie makers drooling? Are we so fascinated with our past, and how we think it all occurred, that we must make movies depicting a "new" version in the current world? If that's the case, then I'm gonna be r-i-c-h. I present to you, my NEW movie idea:

Directly after 133,000 asteroids fall to the Earth, crushing the entire country of Canada, the dinosaurs have returned, but quickly die from cold in North America's (specifically Iowa and New Hampshire) new ice age. While a group of boy scouts and a mime try to escape a mall full of flesh-craving zombies, John F. Kennedy is shot during a parade in Dallas, throwing what's left of America into utter chaos. Emmanuel Lewis ("Webster") stars along side the great magician, Teller ("Penn & Teller").

+ original post date: June 12, 2004 07:24 PM
+ categories: Movies


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