Terminator 3: Rise Out of Your Seat

Why is it that even when I'm told that a movie sucks, I still go out, waste $3 renting it, take it home, and waste 2 hours of my precious time watching it? There's no answer. Well, no good one, that is. Today, I wasted 2 hours of my time watching "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines". Again, I WASTED MY TIME.

This movie was horrible, absolutely horrible. In fact, the only things I found good about it was Nick Stohl (not his acting), Claire Danes (not her acting), and the incredibly cool crane-truck chase scene. In all reality, this movie was a re-make of "Terminator 2: Judgment Day".

It's quite funny how crappy, and loophole-happy, this movie was. We have two machine killers, again sent back into the past, to kill leaders of a future revolution. There's good ol' Arnie and some new chick model (the T-X), dubbed the 'terminatrix', that's somehow light years better than the T-1000 (see T2).

Both of these robots are MONSTER assassins. Ruthless. Cunning. Both not stopping at any cost.

That's why the T-X, instead of using her insanely powerful built-in laser, decides sometimes to use a hand-gun, flame-thrower, or better yet, why not her futuristic band-saw. Remember, this is a machine...always thinking logically. That's why when she found traces of John Connor's blood (by licking a bandage, since that's how computers do it), she moaned like she was in "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". I find it funny that she also arrives back in the past completely naked, having to find clothes to wear. But once she's fully clothed, she can morph into other people...who are fully clothed wearing different outfits. It all makes so much sense.

In addition, Arnie's Terminator seems to get stupider with each movie they write him into. First he takes a male-stripper's clothes and Elton John sunglasses. Then, being the machine he is, begs John Connor, "please stay away from me". And finally, hits the front of a car about 20 times to reboot himself (is that how I fix my computer problems???).

The effects were cool, or about as cool as could be expected. While on the topic of expected, I expect there to be more Terminators...Lord help us all. And as Mr. Weidner proclaimed to me, "if you hear the line 'the Terminator taught me everything I know', in a movie, then you're in for a long ride.

+ original post date: December 20, 2003 06:06 PM
+ categories: Movies


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