Yesterday I went and did a little Christmas shopping up in North Kansas City (Scoot’s a dick) Kansas City, North. Whenever I go up there, and I feel a twinge of hunger coming on, I make a pilgrimage to the local Taco Bell (which also doubles as a Pizza Hut). I usually reserve a trip to Taco Bell if I’m on the road, driving somewhere (out of town)... but shopping in the northland somehow makes the venture an acceptable one.
My typical poison at Taco Bell is the Chicken Quesadilla, but that all changed when the Crunchwrap Supreme came out. Unfortunately, you can’t order those anymore – tally those up on the long list of limited time items that rocked (others that rocked: the Mini Burritos and Frito Burritos easily top that list, for me). No, this time instead of falling back on the default quesadillas, I ordered the new Chipotle Grilled Stuft Burrito. Nice name, eh? More on that in a second.
When I make these dining trips to Taco Bell, I choose to go it alone, take my time eating my meal and spend a great deal of time people-watching. Below are some casual observations and other random thoughts about my experience(s) at the Bell (and the Taco Bell web site).
Try the New Cheesy Spicy Grilled Chipotle Wrapped Bean Gordita with Nacho Sauce
What is with these names!?! Ironically, SNL made a great parody commercial (that aired last night) that illustrates this point beautifully. You can’t make “new” items by putting different ingredients on it and just how many items can you make up that are supposed to be mexican food? And lastly, if these items are here for a limited time, say so, there’s nothing worse than getting a craving for something and not being able to get it.
Numeros y Idiomas
There’s something about a hispanic employee (that barely speaks a lick of english) that makes Taco Bell seem more authentic and the meal taste better.
I Like the Look of That
My favorite thing to look at inside of a Taco Bell is the vertical rack of sauces. There’s four, or five, of them, all different colors and I’m betting they’re arranged to be visually appealing.
Taco Bell Resort
Since when did Taco Bell become the family vacation spot? The past five times I’ve been there, I think there were at least two families with, on average, three children running around. Not that it’s a bad thing, but it’s strange that it’s quite the family hang out.
Say “Fresco”... Say What?
According to the web site, this is what you’re supposed to say when you want to replace cheese and sauce with fiesta salad salsa for lower fat. Fiesta what? Salad? Couldn’t you just order a taco salad if you wanted salad? (Jill’s a bitch) Salsa? If I want salsa on my food, I’ll ask for “salsa,” not “fresco.” Besides, the fine print on the web site says that the Fresco Style reduces fat by 25% for “most menu items.”
What’s Hotter: Mild or Medium?
This isn’t necessarily a quip at Taco Bell, but at salsa-makers in general... in my mind Mild and Medium are the same. Can we change Mild to Not-Hot? And why is there Fire sauce? In real life, fires are hot, not mild. Let’s drop the Hot from Taco Bell and make it Medium and then make Medium, Not-Hot. Perfect.
I should totally be Taco Bell’s CEO, but there’s no way in hell I’d ever approve a tag line such as, “make a run for the border.” *shudder*