Observations from a Taco Bell

Yesterday I went and did a little Christmas shopping up in North Kansas City (Scoot’s a dick) Kansas City, North. Whenever I go up there, and I feel a twinge of hunger coming on, I make a pilgrimage to the local Taco Bell (which also doubles as a Pizza Hut). I usually reserve a trip to Taco Bell if I’m on the road, driving somewhere (out of town)... but shopping in the northland somehow makes the venture an acceptable one.

My typical poison at Taco Bell is the Chicken Quesadilla, but that all changed when the Crunchwrap Supreme came out. Unfortunately, you can’t order those anymore – tally those up on the long list of limited time items that rocked (others that rocked: the Mini Burritos and Frito Burritos easily top that list, for me). No, this time instead of falling back on the default quesadillas, I ordered the new Chipotle Grilled Stuft Burrito. Nice name, eh? More on that in a second.

When I make these dining trips to Taco Bell, I choose to go it alone, take my time eating my meal and spend a great deal of time people-watching. Below are some casual observations and other random thoughts about my experience(s) at the Bell (and the Taco Bell web site).

Try the New Cheesy Spicy Grilled Chipotle Wrapped Bean Gordita with Nacho Sauce
What is with these names!?! Ironically, SNL made a great parody commercial (that aired last night) that illustrates this point beautifully. You can’t make “new” items by putting different ingredients on it and just how many items can you make up that are supposed to be mexican food? And lastly, if these items are here for a limited time, say so, there’s nothing worse than getting a craving for something and not being able to get it.

Numeros y Idiomas
There’s something about a hispanic employee (that barely speaks a lick of english) that makes Taco Bell seem more authentic and the meal taste better.

I Like the Look of That
My favorite thing to look at inside of a Taco Bell is the vertical rack of sauces. There’s four, or five, of them, all different colors and I’m betting they’re arranged to be visually appealing.

Taco Bell Resort
Since when did Taco Bell become the family vacation spot? The past five times I’ve been there, I think there were at least two families with, on average, three children running around. Not that it’s a bad thing, but it’s strange that it’s quite the family hang out.

Say “Fresco”... Say What?
According to the web site, this is what you’re supposed to say when you want to replace cheese and sauce with fiesta salad salsa for lower fat. Fiesta what? Salad? Couldn’t you just order a taco salad if you wanted salad? (Jill’s a bitch) Salsa? If I want salsa on my food, I’ll ask for “salsa,” not “fresco.” Besides, the fine print on the web site says that the Fresco Style reduces fat by 25% for “most menu items.”

What’s Hotter: Mild or Medium?
This isn’t necessarily a quip at Taco Bell, but at salsa-makers in general... in my mind Mild and Medium are the same. Can we change Mild to Not-Hot? And why is there Fire sauce? In real life, fires are hot, not mild. Let’s drop the Hot from Taco Bell and make it Medium and then make Medium, Not-Hot. Perfect.

I should totally be Taco Bell’s CEO, but there’s no way in hell I’d ever approve a tag line such as, “make a run for the border.” *shudder*

+ original post date: December 4, 2005 05:56 PM
+ categories: All About Seth, WTF, Web Stuff


(comments rss feed)

I have to admit, the Frito Burrito was one of the best Taco Bell items they've ever had. Messy, chili-y, and frito-y...all wrapped in a flour tortilla. Dang...I want one now.

+ author: John Nleons
+ posted: December 5, 2005 08:07 AM

When did they add a Pizza Hut to the NKC Taco Bell?

+ author: ScooterJ
+ posted: December 5, 2005 11:02 AM

By "North Kansas City," I mean Barry Road... not NKC the town. Get a clue.

+ author: Seth
+ posted: December 5, 2005 11:28 AM

That's "Kansas City, North", Chumley. :)

Otherwise it's like saying "I went and did some Xmas shopping in Tonganoxie. By "Tonganoxie", I mean "Raytown".

+ author: ScooterJ
+ posted: December 5, 2005 01:26 PM

Who in the hell would Xmas shop in Tongie? OR Raytown? Your example makes no sense.

+ author: Seth
+ posted: December 5, 2005 01:38 PM

The mild, medium, fire thing also has bugged me, too. It's similar to Starbucks with their tall, grande, and venti. The creeping of names toward the high end seems like it's everywhere.

+ author: Sean
+ posted: December 9, 2005 12:54 PM

It says "salsa" not salad. I would have believed you if you hadn't actually included a link. Learn to read.

+ author: Jill
+ posted: December 10, 2005 11:54 AM

Was it just some cheesy, melty summer dream? Or maybe some kind of crunchy and cool, grilled trick? Sure, get you all charged up on this sure-fire Taco Bell sensation…then take it away? Well limited time offer no more!

Without getting into all the details, I work on the product development team at Taco Bell in Irvine, Calif. When I first started working here, I would get a least a comment a month about bringing back the Chili Cheese Burrito (aka, Chilito). But nothing ever prepared me for the level of “Bring it Back” comments I received for last project I worked on: the Crunchwrap Supreme.

As soon as this limited time offer expired back in July 2005, the emails and phone calls poured in. “I’m going to kill myself if you don’t bring the Crunchwrap back” one customer said (really…and yes, he was joking). Due to the overwhelming support from dedicated fans such as you, the company has decided to bring Crunchwrap back as a permanent item – it will be as easy as ordering a Burrito Supreme or Mexican Pizza.

If you’re interested in more insider info on the Crunchwrap Supreme, please visit my blog at

Mr. Crunchwrap

+ author: Mr Crunchwrap
+ posted: February 7, 2006 03:23 PM

Taco Bell rules. I remember the first time I had a Chalupa and then I knew that Taco Bell had really changed from the food of the late night drunkard to the cuisine of the truly discerning mexicologist. Taco Bell Rocks!

+ author: Sjefke
+ posted: December 27, 2007 04:47 PM

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