Boooooo! The Royals are crappy. Crappy, crappy, crappy. We have the second-lowest payroll in Major League Baseball. We’ve finished below .500 nine of the last ten years. And we’re about to set the team record for most losses in one season. Glorious.
Not to mention that we’ve been “setting up for a youth movement” for the past three years. We also trade away all of our good, young, talent – Dye, Damon, Beltran – for nothing in return. And on top of all that, Chewy doesn’t even sell Lemonade at the stadium anymore!
But there’s something about having a story in The Onion about the Royals that makes it allllllll better:
Dying Boy Brought In To Cheer Up Kansas City Royals