August07
Simon Says, "F Off"
Today is Simon Bird Gunderson's fifth birthday. That's five years that I've (Wendy, too) had to endure him not coming when I call him, scratching and biting me for no reason, late night sneak attacks and, of course, knocking stuff over when I haven't fed him. All this, plus the fact that he hates it when there's more than one person at my place, chews on chords and cotton clothes and would rather sit NEAR me and not ON me.
But he's my boy and I love him.
Don't bother sending him money or even a birthday card for that matter. Don't extend any happy birthday wishes or try to give him a kiss. Don't think that he'll be nice to you, not today, not ever. That, my friends, is how Simon rolls – however the hell he wants to.
And if you pass him on the streets, just look away, or he'll cut you and tell you to "f off."
Happy the Birthday, Simon!
+ original post date: August 7, 2005 02:28 PM
+ categories: Simon
About Me
My name is Seth Gunderson and I currently live in Kansas City, MO. I work as an art director at Sullivan Higdon & Sink (it should be noted that Sullivan Higdon & Sink neither seeks, nor exercises, any editorial control over this site) and spend my spare time practicing sarcasm, watching too much television and seeing truly awful movies.
Want more Seth? Fine, weirdo:
comments2
(comments rss feed)
That's my boy!
Happy birthday, Simon.
+ author: wendy
+ posted: August 7, 2005 04:07 PM
Happy Belated Birthday Simon, I love you with all your flaws. Your Grandmother
+ author: Simon's Grandmother
+ posted: August 21, 2005 10:28 AM
post a comment