I'll Get You My Petty

A thirty-something man hurries through the grocery check-out. He is pre-occupied. He doesn't care about anything but getting his cigarettes. Almost put out that he has to pay for them, he hastily grabs a wad of cash and change from his pocket and throws it down onto the counter. The money lay there, crumpled up as a quarter spins to a stop while a dime rolls under the register. The grocery clerk slowly grabs the money, straightens it out and then grabs the change. Entering the amount of money into the register, the amount of change owed to the customer appears on the display. Slower still, the clerk grabs the change and as eloquently as possible, throws the money past the out-stretched hand of the customer. No "thank you" or "have a nice day" was said, instead the clerk turned and greeted the next customer in line.

That clerk was me, nearly a decade ago... and that whole situation still bothers me today.

I'd say it was sweet revenge, but my exchange with the customer was probably lost on him completely and I'm sure he just thought I was a jerk. Maybe if I would've said something, made a grand gesture, anything. Nah, idiots are idiots are idiots, and they'll keep on thinking the Sun revolves around the Earth, the government have somehow screwed them yet again and how in the hell are they going to get their truck unstuck from the mudhole.

Why am I talking about revenge? I just finished watching "Man on Fire." What a fun flick, that is, if you like a pseudo-mystery with a dude getting some hella crazy revenge. I'm talking cutting fingers off, revenge. I'm talking bomb up a dude's butt, revenge. I'm talking you can shoot me all you want but I'm still going to blow half of your hand off with a shot gun, revenge. If there's one thing I've learned from that movie and "Training Day," don't mess with a Denzel movie character.

It reminded me of that Mel Gibson movie, "Payback." You thought I was going to say "Passion of the Christ," didn't you... well, you were wrong... there wasn't much revenge in that movie. No, you remember that movie, right? It's the one where you actually root for the bad guy! "BLOW SOME STUFF UP," you yelled at the screen. "KILL THOSE OTHER BAD GUYS," you plea. "RIP THAT DUDE'S NOSE-RING OUT," my mother cackled... "TWO TIMES," she added. Mom really freaked me out that night.

I wish I had the balls to push more revenge on people. But, I'm really trying to be the "bigger person" and not let that occur... which usually = pompous ass. Where is the line that says what is okay in terms of revenge? Don't be fooled, there is no line... there are just the assholes that piss people off and the other assholes that try to get them back... oh, and the people that just let it slide.

A man comes in to a mail store with an over-sized envelope. He's on a cell phone, which, in his mind, assures him that he doesn't have to speak to the cashier. Finally it's his turn at the counter and he tosses the envelope down and turns away from the counter, still babbling into his phone. A minute later, obviously confused as to why he hasn't heard a total price yet, he turns back to the counter and orders "I need that sent." Apparently. The man turns away again, still talking and after another minute he again turns to the clerk and the clerk asks, "would you like that FedEx'd, UPS, regular or Priority Mail?"

That was me, less than a decade ago. How hard was it to tell me exactly what he wanted when he first got there? Sigh. I sure showed him.

+ original post date: March 24, 2005 10:34 PM
+ categories: All About Seth


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Remember when you thought you were too cool for school and you gave that hair salon worker the bird (not the middle finger-that gross yellow bird with the foot thing)? You showed him.

+ author: Crasymaker
+ posted: June 25, 2005 09:10 AM

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