February03

Funny to think about

These were the most current headlines that I copied from CNN.com. I'm feeling kinda sarcastic tonight (weird, I know) so I thought to modify the headlines for fun and to attempt at making my loyal readers laugh. My edits are in italics.

• Bush reinforces Social Security message with popsicle sticks after eating four bomb-pops and getting a 'brain-freeze'
• Search on for couple accused of torturing children with the age-old 'dollar on a string' trick
• Report: FBI wasted millions on 'Virtual Case File' putting them further behind on the thousands of 'real cases' yet to be solved
• Sources: Israel to end targeted killings and instead will spin 'Wheel of Extremely Random People to Kill'
• Rumsfeld twice offered resignation over Abu Ghraib and thrice offered to 'indian wrestle' him
• Marine general: It's 'fun to shoot some people' and 'to shoot them again after they're dead, because see, they're already dead but their bodies continue to shake and stuff, *chuckles* man I love that'
• SI.com: Fight breaks out at girls' hoops game because 'that dude spilled his beer on me' and 'it had a bite of his bbq sandwich in it, gross'
• Tapes: Enron plotted to shut down power plant, but quickly decided not to since NO ONE WOULD HAVE HAD TO PAY AN ELECTRICITY BILL

+ original post date: February 3, 2005 11:34 PM
+ categories: Pop Culture