After being cooped up all day yesterday, I decided that I'd venture to the Plaza for a little afternoon shopping. I had lunch with Wendy and one of her co-workers (Danielle) and then bought me some clothes. I wasn't ready to call it a day after getting my new rags, so I headed over to Barnes & Noble. Looking for the latest book on CSS, my ears heard the funniest live exchange of words between two people who weren't in a movie. At first I thought I heard the same voice, but upon closer eavesdropping, it was an elderly man and, presumedly, his wife. Their conversation went something like this:
Man: Here. Here's the book. (handing her a dictionary) Use both hands.
Woman: Oh. Oh no. I can't lift that. It's too heavy.
Man: Here, use both hands.
Woman: I can't. Look how thick it is.
Man: Okay. (turning away)
Woman: It just looks so hea... here, give it to me.
Man: It's too hea--
Woman: Give it here.
Man: Use both hands. Here. (handing book to her)
Woman: Ohhhh. Oh no, this is too heavy. Are you sure you got the right one?
Not sure of what they were looking for, I kept browsing for my book, now out of range to hear the conversation. I couldn't find the book, but now their conversation had become louder... so I stuck around to hear what was going on.
Man: No, no, no. I'll move the chair for you.
Woman: I don't like that chair. It's too hard.
Man: I know. So I'll move the one you're in.
Woman: I don't want that chair. I like this one.
Man: So I'll move it.
Woman: Which one?
Man: The chair you're in.
Woman: This is too much exercise. You can't move this chair with me in it.
Man: No. You stand up and I'll move the chair.
Woman: I don't like those chairs. They're too hard. They hurt my back.
Man: That's why I'll move that chair.
Woman: Which one?
Man: Read my lips. The chair that you're in.
Woman: Why are you going to move this chair?
Man: I'm going to move the chair over to the map section so you can talk to me while I'm looking over there.
Woman: That's too far. You can't push me that far.
Man: That's why you're going to get out of the chair. So I can push it.
Woman: That's too much exercise.
I was about to laugh hysterically at this point, so I moved several aisles over. It became quiet again and I saw the man pacing back and forth throughout the section. Eventually he went back over to his wife and told her he moved a different chair for her to sit in. He started to walk her over to the new chair.
Man: Come on, I moved a chair for you.
Man: Over by the maps, so you can talk to me.
Woman: How long have we been here?
Man: About fifteen minutes.
Woman: Oh. It feels like more than thirty.
Their voices trailed off as they made it over to the map section. As I was leaving, I could hear the lady talking to someone else, and could only imagine how that conversation was going.
+ original post date: May 2, 2004 08:48 PM
+ categories: Funny, Ha Ha